Sinister: Six Implausible Things (NBSC)

[PJMiller]

1) The Monday Poem is dead, long live The Poetry Parrot! The poem I want to
delight you all with is in my old house, and is unlikely to be available
before tomorrow, Monday. Therefore I propose a looser arrangement, in
keeping with the spirit of Mad Dog Murdoch's early demo recordings. As
everyone knows, parrots can squawk at any time, it all depends who pulls
their tails and when. This parrot squawks out great long chunks of poetry,
almost at random, when its tail is pulled in the proper manner. I shall
undertake this implausible act as soon as possible, and I hope it will be
worth it. The parrot is also capable of delivering complex biographical
material, parrot-fashion.

2) The list might be a nail, but it used to be a drawing pin. Hopefully,
after this flurry of enthusiasm (most welcome, of course) it will revert to
its old drawing pin self and Basil Brush's frankly ridiculous demands for
tighter immigration control can be swept back under the carpet where they
belong.

3) After all the attention she's been attracting on this list, I'm not at
all surprised that Saint Lucy has been signed up for an advertising campaign
in the United States of America. I'm sure the product or service in question
will be hugely successful.

4) 810 pounds! Excellent work! I sincerely hope that the patients enjoy
listening to it. Hmmm, I hardly think that that poor quality joke can
masquerade as a genuine implausible thing, not after Andy's phenomenal work
on Friday....the cult-like ludicrousness of the handedness debate arose from
my own desire to find out whether the photograph in question had been
printed back to front, as sometimes happens, meaning that Mad Dog Murdoch
would really be writing with his right hand, and Chris would be making funny
"bwww bwww bwww" noises with his lips at the front of the lecture hall. I am
convinced that there was no diabolical involvememnt in the staging of this
photo, honest.

5) Just when Roddddney's messages about Robbie Williams were becoming a bit
of light relief amongst the Adam Cohen messages, he goes and blots his
copybook by accusing stickman Paul of plundering his plus signs. I for one
find the constant changes in Paul's footers highly entertaining, a kind of
barometer of his settee-boundness. Yes, I would like ice in that, please,
and a quick flash of lacy cleavage. Birthday celebrations? Some kind of cake
would seem to be in order. And some drugs.

6) Yesterday I went out to cheer on the disgraced drug-addled professional
cycling troupe as they hurtled pêle mêle through my new home town. Leading
the way was a car with a huge inflatable Festina digital watch on top. No
wonder suspicions arose. Anyway, it was very good, very colourful and very
hot. I have no idea how to make this relevant to Belle and Sebastian. I hope
everyone has had a go at Chris Leonard's excellent B&S competition. You can
always get a grown up to help if you find the mathematics difficult.

Bobby Chariot

PS: It's Sunday, what do you expect?

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