Sinister: Defaid, Skateboards a Wellies

[Sarah]

Hello list!

I've been gone for 2 weeks - didja all miss me? I am sure you all did -
else I would see that red mist again......the nice counseller said I
shouldn't get SHARP KNIFES confused with aubergines....

No I don't know either. Aren't chocolate slices nice? Considering they
are the only thing in the house, it's Friday night, I am sober and alone
and wishing I knew what a life was OOH  THE ANGST!

Anyway, down to rambling!
My holiday! Was HOT! I didn't burn! I am proud! The Manics are on the
cover of the FACE. The Face. The magazine for posing tosspots
everywhere! Hey kid! You have no personality? Then read THE FACE! It
will tell you what is painfully hip hop and groovey and EXPENSIVE! But
seeeing as you a rich twat anyway, who cares! Some media fucker in
london will be satified you are making him richer! Buy me and your life
will be fine! I hate the face! HELP ME! I read halfa what MSP say and
think you are arseholes, I fucking hate what you are saying, it's SHIT!
But then I just SEE them and see the most important band of my life - or
perhaps who WERE? But I stil love them, except I don't know what I'm on
about.

Two good songs by the Bonzo Dog Band. There are two of them. And they
are called MY PINK HALF OF THE DRAINPIPE and RHINOCRATIC OATHS! The
Beach Boys are good.

I had many sleepless nights in Tenerife, due to the yukky heat. Here are
some thoughts I had.

I was thinking how shit and NOODLE-ing the Seahorses are. And I thought,
if you were going to cook John Squire, you'd have tostir fry him in a
wok - with all his noodles. Then....

I thought, how does one cook listees?

It passed the hours beween three and five am anyway - hey, the logistics
of a human toaster are quite hard. First of all I was going to toast
Keith - 'cos lets face it girlies, who wouldn't like to spread "I can't
belive it's not butter" all over keith and tuck in? wa-HEY! But then I
decided no, it doesn't match his name. So, with a little shift - we have
VOILA! Tag on Toast! Just as scrummy - but you see, you only get a half
portion. You only use half of him for toast - the other hlaf would be
used in.....oh god even *I* don't want to make this joke........ Tag-
liatelle. GROOOAN!
Keith would be spit-roasted so you could make a keith kebab.
"Peej" Miller would be mashed up and stuck in a pie with potatoes, so
you could have Potato and Meat Pete Pie....
Chris Leonard is one Spicey Dude - he proved that in paying 7890 quid
for Geri Spices "booger" (American for snot. Isn't it ace!) - and this,
you would have to make a Chris Curry.

Then it was daylight.

My trip was soundtracked by the new MSP single - it was being played
EVERYWHERE! , XTC, Soft Boys, Melys, and what I like to call ever so
precisely - "some dance shit". God. Ravers. I am going to Manchester
soon. I shall HAVE to buy the RAVERS SUCK tshirt. It is so true.

Kids - I shall leave you with a deep moral message. If it aint Welsh
language punk - it's crap. Take heed. Anhrefn. *nods sagely*
I'M GOING NOW BYE!!!!!!
Sarah 
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