Sinister: A bad Poem, and a McDonalds joke...

[Shearer, Calumn]

Am I in a good mood today or WHAT!!

One of my friends has just (11:00 this morning) become a Father. (dad,
not priest)
I got Invited to a party...
I finally own a copy of Tigermilk! (b&s content)
I now have the most massive list crush on..... the person that gave me
it (Liz knows who she is.. oh, damn!)

So, In honour of these, (and as an excuse to use a joke I had sitting
around...) I bring you the following for your delight, delectation, and
basically to waste 20 mins of my work time....

 love you all
cal



The Spelling Checker Poem
----------------------------------------               
I have a spelling checker.
It came with my PC.
It plane lee marks four my revue
Miss steaks aye can knot see.
               
Eye ran this poem threw it.
Your sure real glad two no.
Its very polished in its weigh,
My checker tolled me sew.
               
A checker is a blessing.
It freeze yew lodes of thyme.
It helps me right awl stiles to reed,
And aides me when eye rime.
               
Each frays comes posed up an my screen
Eye trussed too bee a joule.
The checker pours o'er every word
To cheque sum spelling rule.
               
Bee fore a veiling checkers
Hour spelling mite decline.
And if we're laks oar have a laps,
We wood be maid to wine.
               
Butt now bee cause my spelling
Is checked with such grate flare,
There are know faults with in my cite,
Of nun eye am a wear.
               
Now spelling does not phase me,
It does knot bring a tier.
My pay purrs awl due glad den
With wrapped words fare as hear.
               
To rite with care is quite a feet
Of witch won should be proud,
And wee mussed dew the best wee can,
Sew flaws are knot aloud.
               
Sow ewe can sea why aye dew prays
Such soft wear four pea seas,
And why eye brake in two averse
Buy righting want too please.

I thank you.....
And for my next trick...

The School Bus (almost on topic)
-----------------------

There was this guy who just got a new job as a school bus driver 
for elementary school children.  He thought it would be nice to paint
the school bus with characters from Sesame Street.

So, he painted Bert and Ernie, Big Bird, The Cookie Monster and so
forth.

At his first stop, there was this very overweight little girl. He opened
the door and said, "Hi, I'm the new bus driver.  What is your name?"

The girl said that her name was Pattie.

Waiting at the next stop was another overweight little girl.  He said,
"Hi,
I'm the new bus driver.  What is your name?" 

She said that her name was Pattie also.

At the next stop, there was a grown woman and a little boy. The bus
driver
said, "Hi, I'm the new bus driver.  What is your name?" 

The woman piped up and said, "His name is Ross and he is my son." 
She continued, "He is very, very special, so I want you to take extra
good
care of him."  
 
The bus driver replied, "No problem.  He can have this seat right behind
me and I can watch him really good in the mirror."

At the next stop, there was this little country boy standing there. The
little boy was wearing tattered overalls and had no shoes or socks on
his feet. The poor little boy had problems walking because of bunions
all over his feet. The bus driver said, "Hi, I'm the new bus driver.
What
is your name?"  

The little boy replied, "My name is Lester Cleese."

Well, little Lester picked at his bunions all the way to the school
house,
nearly driving the driver crazy. 

Later that night, at home, his wife asked him how his first day on the
new
job was. The man replied: Well, I had Two Obese Patties, Special Ross,
Lester Cleese Picking Bunions On A Sesame Street Bus."


See, that was _almost_ on topic....

List songs: How about "The Song of The Clyde" - I can't remember how it
goes, but it lists off all the towns on the River Clyde...
I had more last night, but I keep forgetting them ;-)

Hee, hee  - I'm off to get more coffee and them go for a 2-hour lunch
break.

Life is Good - Always remember this and you won't go wrong.

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