Sinister: A fat slug writes

[Kevan Cooke]

Now then folks,

Shepherds Bush Empire may have sold out, but I have a couple of spare
tickets which I am happy to sell to anyone on Sinister at cost price.

E-mail me directly if you are interested.

If no-one buys them then I am going to have to confirm my position as
a capitalist fat slug by selling them at a vast profit to some evil
multinational conglomerate, who will in turn use the tickets for
corporate hospitality purposes.

On the subject of list songs, and sorry if someone's said this already,
my fave is "What Will Death Be Like" by Momus, in which he lists many
things that death will be unlike.  I started writing a list song last
year, called Hate List #1, but I ran out of rhymes and it was all very
negative.  If anyone wants to help me finish the song, and get those
negative vibes out of my system, just e-mail me with a short list of
things that you dislike (and preferably which rhyme with asparagus).

I was watching the local news last Thursday and they were talking to
one of the last remaining Greenham Common peace camp women.  Imagine
my surprise when they announced that the elderly lady they had been
interviewing was Katrina House!

People have been talking about advertisments, so I feel justified in
mentioning the Levis advert with the child hammering the square peg
through the round hole.  It's not a phrase that I tend to use, but
this advert ROCKS!  I don't know why, but whenever I see it I think
of Keith.

I tried to alert everyone to the danger posed by Elliott Smith but, in
true conspiracy theorist style, my protestations lead only to disbelief
and ridicule.  Why don't you listen?  He is obviously going to wait until
Shepherds Bush before he does the deed, because the song in which he
announces his intentions is called Killing a SOUTHERN Belle.

Kevan

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