Sinister: The Boy With the Arab Strap

[susannah]

Kids,
      You know, the title of the new album. I really wonder if it will be a BIG
MISTAKE. I mean, its a bit RUDE isn't it?
OK, so it fits with the cover, but I'm just wondering about the possible
consequences. This is what I think will happen:

Sept.10 1998 : Parents of boy scouts 'taken up the hills' by Murdoch discover
lewd title and inform Scout Leader.
               Stuart is sacked as scout helper. 

Sept. 11 : Church Hall Commitee discovers album after an insinuating piece in
the Glasgow W.I. quarterly . Stuart is suspended as Caretaker 
                
Sept 12 : Parents of young B&S fans discover new album appearing in their
teenagers bedrooms and are outraged.
              Sinisterines forced to unsubscribe from inappropriate mailing
list. Only over twenty-fives remain.

Sept 13 : Group of rubber fetishists descend on the Church hall and elect Stuart
as their new S&M cult leader.

Sept 15: Church Hall commitee threaten Stuart and Richard with eviction.

Sept 16: 'Madame' Cecile Aubry discovers title and is disgruntled. Immediately
demands band change name forthwith despite Isobel offering        prized toy
lion as concession.

Sept 17: Band change name to '1975' after year in 'the state I am in'.

Sept 18: Faced with eviction, stuart decides to change album title to just 'the
boy' and Church hall committee withdraw eviction notice.

Sept 19: Hoards of teenyfans confuse '1975' with 911, east17, level42, 5ive, and
hanson(?) and record sales rocket.

sept 20: Stuart becomes national pop celeb and featured on the O-zone and
bluepeter.

sept 21: Daily Mail discovers Stuarts 'shady' past including lascivious leather
trousers and runs full 3 page spread on corrupting influence.

sept 22: Sinisters mail server shut down 'obscene' mailing list. Honey
goes into hiding.

sept 23: Church hall commitee, all avid Daily Mail readers, spontaneously evict
Stuart and Richard from church hall.

Sept 24: Gay rights group 'Outrage' 'outs' Stuart.

sept 25: Stuart moves in with Mark Owen.

sept 26: Stuart and little Mark collaborate on new side project.

sept 27: all original B&S fans now dissullusioned , claiming stuart has sold
out.

sept 28: Stuart sells out.

sept 29: Rest of original B&S join Buddhist colony in Milton keynes.


And all in one whirlwind month readers!!!!!! 
We must warn stuart before it is too late, so
don't delay, print out and post to Stuart today.

susannah.
xxx





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