Sinister: i pity the fool

[butterfly mcqueen]

      +---+      HAPPY BIRTHDAY SINISTER BABIES    +---+

hey. i haven't seen the actual album cover yet, but someone mailed me a
copy of the next little story that will accompany the album:

________________________________________________

Sebastian had taken to pinching Belle's ass. She didn't mind. She had
taken to wearing no panties, so as not to feel anything between her
cheeks and the soft, supple tips of Sebastian's fingers. "Baby got
back!" Sebastian was heard to scream out on a regular basis. "I like big
butts and I cannot lie". While Belle knew this was sexist and she should
rebel against it, she couldn't help but feel aroused and curious. And
more the latter.
One thing led to another, and Belle got pregnant. The thing was...she
didn't know whose it was. It was like something straight out of a Montel
show. It could've been Richard's. Those three weeks in Brazil left her
sore. Or it could be Stevie's. Ahhhh....poor little Stevie. Cursed with
such a small member, she couldn't help but feel pity. The fifty bucks he
gave her didn't hurt, either. But deep in her heart she knew it was
Stuart David's. She could hear the baby late at night kicking and
screaming in the womb going "Let me out of here. This is pish!"
Chris had taken notice of the changes in his friends, and this started a
flurry of activity in his drug addled brain. He had so many schemes
cooked up he couldn't keep up with them all. He decided he was gonna
extort money from Mr. Murdoch. He was gonna threaten to give a real,
proper interview if he didn't have a large paper bag full of money
sitting on his doorstep by 6AM. Of course, Murder One (as he had taken
to calling himself after the formation of his gangsta rap side project,
the Bus-Tang Clan) didn't stand for it. As Wee Chris was injecting some
unknown fluid through the veins in his penis, Murder burst through the
door and jacked his fool ass up. "Bitch" he spat. "Nobody fucks with
Murder One, fool."
The band was failing. No one was getting along anymore. Only Sarah still
showed a bit of interest, when she wasn't out pimping Mick Cooke out to
other bands. "100 dollars for a blow" she was known to say. Poor Mick
had turned tricks for so many bands he couldn't keep up. He started
playing Belle and Sebastian bits in the Amphetameanies songs and
Amphetameanie bits in Belle and Sebastian songs.
Murder had a hit put out on him. 
But now they've got their shit together. They're writing songs again.
It's kind of hard for Mick to play trumpet cause Murder had it rammed up
his ass to teach him a lesson. Belle brings her baby, Raoul, to every
practice. Wee Chris has kicked the smack. Stuart D took an anger
management class. And the rest of the band has finally learned not to
"fuck with the formula".
Everything's coming up roses.

________________________________________________

-brad
+----------------------------------------------------------------------+
      +---+  Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list  +---+
 To send to the list please mail "sinister at majordomo.net". To unsubscribe
   send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to
 "majordomo at majordomo.net".  For list archives and searching, list rules,
   FAQ, poor jokes etc, see http://www.majordomo.net/sinister
           +---+  Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa  +---+
+----------------------------------------------------------------------+