Sinister: Hefnerlump Rock Report

[PJMiller]

No major misfortunes befell me, so I was indeed introduced to the not
quite as delicate as I expected Hefner live experience. They were
really good, I'd give them 9 out of 10. The singer/guitarists looks a
bit like Austin Powers, acted the goat a lot and treated us to very
funny little bits of nonsense between songs. I laughed quite a lot,
which is unusual because I'm a miserable bastard really. He's a very
expressive young man who waves his arms about a lot. They're not much
like B&S really, the only commonn ground I could see was a certain
bookish slant in the lyrics and quiet bits every so often. I expected
them to be shit, so it was a pleasant surprise, so much better than
grim old Mark Lanegan and his superstar chums the other week IMHO.
They do indeed have a song about Lee Remick and lots of songs about
sex, which comes as quite a surprise because I doubt anyone would
touch Austin Powers with a ten foot barge pole. Oh, and another B&S
connection: the bass player (who looks exactly like Brad in my
imagination) was wearing sensible smart grey school trousers, like
Stuart Murdoch's got.

Afterwrds I was goading into talking to Austin Powers (whose code name
is Darren) for the express purpose of reporting back to you lot.
Here's a condensed log of the conversation:

Bobby C: Excuse me, do you know Stuart Murdoch out of Belle and
Sebastian?
Austin Powers: Er..yes I do actually
Bobby C: Oh, the reason I ask is because I'm on the Belle and
Sebastian e-mail list and people there talk about you quite a lot,
you're quite popular there.
Austin Powers: Oh really? Someone told me there was someting in
America where you had to give marks out of ten for how much we sound
like Belle and Sebastian, like five out of ten or seven out of ten, we
sound nothing like Belle and Sebastian, do you think we sound like
Belle and Sebastian?
Bobby C: No, not at all (crawly bumlick bit)

and so on and so on, heading into off-topic territory until:

Austin Powers: (effusively waving arms about like Magnus Pike) Lazy
Line Painter Jane is the best single of the nineties!
Bobby C's mouth opens and closes but no sound comes out

Anyway, it's great to have showbiz chums who look like Austin Powers,
and he was a nice chap and all, but I did get the impression that I
was just the latest in a long line of stalker freaks who talk to him
when he's on tour, so in a way I wish I hadn't bothered, but it was
all in the name of spouting crap on the list, so I guess it was worth
it. I don't think he really understood the concept of a mailing list,
the lucky bugger.

As for the other groups, Cuba were absolute total and utter guff, a
kind of Jesus Jones for the 21st Century, only without the charm,
subtelty and nuance that so typified that groundbreaking fusion of
rock and dance sensibilities. Quite frankly, Cuba are a disgrace to
their name, totally unlike the fantastic tropical island where people
sniff their armpits and have a wank at the same time.

Jack were pretty funny, they R!O!C!K! but not as much as they seem to
think. The guitarist is a proper mod, and good fun to watch, the bass
player looks like Bobby Chariot crossed with the curly one from
Blondie and I suspect that the singer is a big fan of our own Lawrence
from Felt (and Denim if you insist, Peter), he had the same juvenile
and foppish haircut and the posing git had a bottle of whisky in the
pocket of his leather coat. They were quite INTENSE but it all seemed
like a big act to me, whereas Hefner had been quite relaxed and
natural.

That is all for now, I shall revert to off-topic gibbering soon.

Bobby Chariot


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