Sinister: b+s horoscope

[kellym at xxx.com>]

Passing the time till the little hand hits the five i picked up the new
issue of Details and flipped to the horoscope page. Lucky for me it had the
'Year Ahead for Capricorns' this month and had some wierd b+s qualities to
it. Here are the good parts:

"Capricorns are supposed to be shy, conservative and slow. But you've got an
irrational side that nobody sees because you're so good at keeping up
appearances. You make everything look nice. There's something British about
Capricorns-you maintain a stiff upper lip, even when your empire is sinking
like the sun."
<snip>
 "For the past two years, you've felt pinched and restricted, convinced that
your favorite form of recreation is either unhealthy or illegal."
<snip>
"For the next two years, you'll be obsessed with getting your bills paid.
But you'll also want to get drunk and dance around with your underwear on
your head."
<snip-and best of all...>
"As we hit the year 2000, ask yourself the following Saturnine questions: If
I'm surrounded by idiots, does that mean I'm a magnet for scoundrels and
fools? And if so, should I hang my head in shame or, like another famous
Capricorn born in December, found a church?"

See what I mean, mention of the UK, talk of getting drunk and dancing,
hanging your head in shame, feelings of being surrounded by people you can't
relate to and churches! This is the most b+s (or is it bs?) horoscope I've
ever read. Ok... just thought I'd share.

-Kelly Ryan McGuire, born January 11th at 9:30AM, 197X.
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