Sinister: Read this and constiipation will be a thing of the past: No shit

[Ian MacDonald]

I am thoroughly pissed off with peoples attitudes to Belle and Sebastian
when I introduce them to the unilateral beauty of B&S.  The words that
spring to the lips my deflowered B&S virgin friend  tend to include wimpy,
sad, weak , wank and poofy. Mind you the major circle in my Venn diagram of
my deflowered virgins would include more followers of Mr Crowley than
fanciers of non red triangled effete French movies.

Anyway, being a wee man (thinkTattoo journeying to the centre of the earth
) I take these accusations aimed at B&S  as a personal attack. In order to
be able to play B&S to these heathens in future, I demand the introduction
of steroid/creatine supplements to the B&S Mr Motivator regime. Isobel
should also be force fed vegetarian white pudding until she can commuicate
fluently with the deaf through the medium of osmatic viola powerchords. Wee
Stuart should be made to wear platforms, tank tops and pattern his face
with a spiders web tattoo. And all singers must smoke 120 capstan full
strength daily for a week prior to recording.

I would like to see the whole band take a lead from Norway and start
playing with matches in churches as opposed to strumming their holy chords
therein, replace their cats with starving PCP fuelled Fangface  creatures,
pump iron,  actually use Arab Strab to brutalise each other anally,orally
until the volume of band  screams surpass the combined cacophony of 1
million screaming guitars.

p.s This is my first post in a year because I I'm shy and your posts are
all so great especially from the people that have been on the list for over
5 months and 3 days
pps. My List Crush is TAG because he is IT. Was it Sarah that won ? I like
the sound of her Fluffy Candarel although I have no idea what they maybe.

DUKE: .How are Daisy, Bo, Luke or Uncle Jesse? But serously oh psychedelic
educational guru what did you quote from me in your tome to the pertinence
of pop in the life of us misunderstood kids?


chips and gravy: I would like E-mail pen friends from all over the world to
swap pant crust /charming stories with. I would particularly like to
receive pictures of lavacious muslim ladies eyes. 

Speak to you in another year. In fact during the eclipse.

pppps. Americans. I have included many UK references you may not
understand. This was intentional as I constantly have to suffer your
cultural imperialism. And you continue to bastardize both our verbal and
body language with your "Whatevers" and your ever expanding waistline  plot
to absorb the rest of the world.

Luv, peace, harmony and neck massages to you all.
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