Sinister: "lesleyJo you're in a mess"

[rebelstrange at xxx.Miller]

i know it's  faux pas but i just wanted to say if i offended anyone with
what i said earlier i didnt' mean to, i  wouldn't say it ws directed at me
personally, and dont' want to increase the strife.  if anyone thinks that i
am just annoying and doesnt' want to hear me, then i wish they would  say so
to me directly, and i will take it as it  comes. i never intended to come in
and  act all loud and ruin everyone's fun. i dont 'want to feel like a
gatecrasher.  i don't know why iit upsets me so much, i'm just sad about
this.  sad that david and katrina felt they were being attacked, rather
unfairly i might add IMO.  and that people are having to check  out.  if i
am one of the people   who  are ruining the list then i never meant to be.
i'm not so  stupid and shallow that all i care about is who is the cutest
one, etc!!!  the only reason i ever loved  B&S was because their music
touched me in a way  i haven't felt for  very long.   i didnt' even know
what all of them looked like until i saw them in person, and i didnt' care.
i just thought that i t was amusing, maybe i was wrong.   My sense of humor
may just be grating and immature.   maybe i shouldnt' be writing this at
all, if  that's the case, then well i'm very sorry, but i felt i should
explain myself and apologize if i offended anyone cos i didnt' mean to.  i
know i sound like a very ridiculous person sometimes it's just my way of
dealing  with life, when things get rough, i just start making jokes, and
it's not always fun, it's  what i've done all my life and sometimes i hate
it i've been having a hard time in my life now  and belleandsebastian and
all the joys of their songs have been something that gives me the joy i need
to move forward one little bit at a time, along with other very small
things, and that is the reason.  it distracts me.  i dont want to unburden
my personal crap here and i will not, only to say that the music is the
reason, and i think that's why all of us are here, but if i shouldn't be
here then i will take that into  account, and perhaps i'm jumping the gun, i
just get really embarrassed if i think that i have gone too far, and i do
that a lot in my life,and it is never easy.  i'm just overly sensitive and i
apologize for all of that.  i won't post for a couple days to make up for
this  twice daily post.  a couple  days at least.   however i do love all of
you and i'm not leaving as of yet, just to be clear about that.  unless you
all come clamoring to my doorstep with pitchforks and torches, then i'll
have to give in with what's left o fmy dignity, pack my bags and leave only
footprints.
i certainly dont' love christmas, as i have told many people.

someone   who is sick on peanut butter chips and shame


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