Sinister: Happy New Year Everybody

[Mrs Murdoch]

Hello this is Mrs. Murdoch, Stuart's mum here.  I got a new computer for 
Christmas (from Santa) and I thought I'd join you all to see what you're 
saying about my wee Stuart.   Stuart says thank you!! for all the lovely 
Christmas cards.  There are some real beauties including a musical one 
from Canada that plays 'seek ye first'.  Lovely.

Santa brought Stuart an operation that will fix his lisp for good, and a 
new watch which can tell you the time in New York as well as London, 
Sydney and Ayr.  Now when he's abroad with his band he'll know what time 
it is here, and not interrupt me during my 'quiet time'.   Christmas was 
lovely, we had a big juicy slab of pork and turkey then we watched 
'Babe' on the telly.  Stuart cried at the end when the farmer said 
"that'll do pig", the big jessie.  Then we had a sing song, and I let 
Stuart taste my whisky with his pinky.

On boxing day we went a drive to the 'electric brae', a strange hill 
which looks like you are going up when youre really going down.  Stuart 
went out for a wee-wee then came back crying, because he didn't realise 
how mad the hill really was.  He soon cheered up, when I let him sit on 
my knee and pretend he was driving the car.

So anyway, today is Hogmanay, and I wish you all a very Happy New Year! 
Stuart is going to a toga party in Glasgow with his friend Stephen 
Pastel.  He says he is going to drink buckfast and snog as many ladies 
as he can.  'Snogmanay' he calls it.  To tell the truth I hope he does 
snog some ladies, because he's been spending a lot of time alone with 
Stephen Pastel and I'm starting to worry.

All the best for 1999, 
   Mrs. Murdoch 

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