Sinister: The Song Snake

[Chris Leonard]

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only joking, of course.  <adopts big sean voice> it'sh the antisheptic
esshence!

Right, i'm still working on the judy and the dream of horses screen
saver.  Oh, alright i've done nothing about it cos i'm a lazy peasle.
I'll finish it tonight, ok dokay?  

I'm going to marry Sarah Martin.  She wrote to me yesterday.  She's
mine, you here?  MINE!  you see?  MINE!  comprende?  MINE!

I had a B&S dream last week but i decided it would be for the best if i
didn't tell anyone.  But now, I have decided what the hell, I have no
friends anyway.

My Dream Of B&S - The Song Snake
===========================

I dreamt i was watching television.  Does this illustrate how lonely i
am to dream of watching television?  Pity me.  EX-S came on which is a
scottish arts program.  This week it was about B&S.  "Jings", i thought
in my dream thought voice, "my favourite".   

It started with Stuart David walking down the Street on the way to
Stuart Murdochs house.  And he was talking in a Dennis Leary way to the
camera going "i love glasgow it's brilliant and the people are fuckin
magic" things like that.  At he turned up at SM's house who apparently
lives in number 12, Partick.  

So SM lets us in and he goes "i'm going to get a new song".  And I go
"how do you *get* a new song" cos i'm now in the room cos it's my dream.
 And he says "I *get* them from the song snake".   And i say "whatever
is the song snake" and he says "hold on and you'll see".

SM then proceeded to open a cupboard.  Inside was a snake, about a foot
high wearing a really smart white suit sort of like bryan ferry.  He was
holding a fag in his wee snakey hands.  This was the song snake the
"coolest cold-blooded crooner" on the planet.  The song snake proceeded
to sing a song called "if i only had lips, then i could kiss you" which
i swear is the best song i have ever heard in my life.  It got better
when the wall in SM's house disapeared to reveal the Blues Brothers band
in their Minnie the Moocher togs and the song snake done some magic
break-dancing.

After the song was finished SM went "i think i've got it" and proceeded
to sing the song in a girly manner with no backing at all.   It sounded
friggen awful.  The song snake said "Kid, you got it".  Then i woke up
with a woody.  


christopher alexander leonard Bsc(Hons)


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