Sinister: Horriffic and terrible things at Warwick University

[jon g.]

I was just reading the uk.music.alternative newsgroup this afternoon, when I
got a message telling me to go to
http://www.angelfire.com/sd/TechnoWonderland/Rant.html
I went because Belle & Sebastian were in the header.

When I got there, I was outraged.  To save you all having to go there
yourselves, here is what this person said:

>CURRENTLY GOING THROUGH THE VERBAL BLENDER ARE...
>
>BELLE AND SEBASTIAN
>Ooooohhhh, they're so nice aren't they? I mean, you sit down in a comfy
armchair next to the hi-fi, wearing >your cosy pink slippers, drinking some
of that lovely tea that Auntie gave you for Christmas, and after a >while
you just can't help but be envelopped in their fluffy bunny-wunny harmonies
and cutesy pop >sensabilites. Right?
>WRONG!
>
>Belle and Sebastian are turgid pop execrement accidentally diverted from
the planet Crap, sent down to >Earth when their sewage system went wrong and
the engineers couldn't be called out 'cos they were >spending the evening
watching 'The Fast Show' (3rd series). This is music for people who are
turned by >the sight of paint drying, people who wet their pants at the
promising thought of seeing Derek Jarman's >"Blue" on TV for the 17th time
(this time, though, they're going to remember to tape it so they can watch
it >whenever they want to).
>
>God knows how or why they have attained a position, at least in Britain, of
being a band on the pinnacle of >great success. Radio 1's Evening Session
has of course got something and everything to do with it, a >show which
quite unashamedly denies the chance for decent music like Puressence and
Dweeb to be >played whilst promoting unmittigated bollocks like
>Ocean Colour Scene.
>
>But the rise of B&S to prominence goes way beyond this. This 'outfit' is
one of the forefathers of the >NWOLMIC ('New Wave of Look at Me; I'm Cool')
movement, a harkback to the heady daze of the early >nineties when you liked
'indie' bands cos you were 'trendy'. Spiritualised, My Bloody Valentine,
Indie >Shmindie Pap Krap - you liked these cos no-one else did. Didn't
matter, of course, that the reason no-one >else bought the records was cos
they were the sort of bland, anaemic tosh that a sloth could make on one >of
his days off.
>These days it's the same; we've recently had the inexplicable rise of
Embrace to power - a group so >backward you'd think they had based their
whole existence on Kriss Kross - and the rebirth of Radiohead, >perfect
perveyors of the funereal dirge. Both of these encapsulate the late-nineties
ethos of 'NWOLMIC'. >Iffy songs? Boring live? Who cares? They're 'cool', so
I'm going to buy all their records and parade round >like a total gimp until
either a) I connect spiritually with loads of other 'cool' people who 'like'
the same stuff >as me and we live forever and ever in total musical harmony
(Amen), or b) I get twatted by a stranger for >being a dull-witted,
non-thinking tosser.
>
>Ultimately, though, I feel sorry for B&S, 'cos I'm sure they never wanted
this sort of adulation. I mean, if >you actually went into a recording
studio and laid down the kind of colourless aural wallpaper that they did,
>you wouldn't want others to hear it for fear of being laughed at. Obviously
some studio technician stole the >master tapes and went round to Melody
Maker for a joke, saying they were the 'Next Big Thing', and >events sort of
spiralled out of control.
>
>Still, I'm sure with your excellent musical taste you haven't bought
anything by them, anyway.
>**17th January 1998**
>
>
>If you believe the above to be TOTAL BOLLOCKS or alternatively GODLIKE
GENIUS,
>then e-mail me with a well-considered response.
>Thanks to the CB Boy (Warwick), Tom (Nottingham) and Graham (Glasgow), but
here's the best one so >far.
>Keep 'em coming...
>"'Sans' a whisper of a lie, I have never wet my pants at seeing 'Blue' on
TV, but as an indominatible Belle & >Sebastian fan, the opening bars of
'Blue' from 'A Storm In Heaven' have been known to strangle my >presence and
cause all sorts of mass hysteria including ejaculation. Just thought I'd set
the record straight. >PS Is indominatible a word?"
>Benita (Warwick)
>
>
>RE-ENTER  THE SCENE
>
>Email: frujx at csv.warwick.ac.uk

Response?  I say the whole list should email him back to tell him that we
believe the above to be total bollocks, but that's just my opinion.  Maybe
we should get his address and then wait outside the butchers for him with a
knife and a bike chain.  If I kill him now, who's going to miss him?

I notice from the sinister site that mauab at csv.warwick.ac.uk -
eculb at csv.warwick.ac.uk -mavgc at csv.warwick.ac.uk and pyuja at csv.warwick.ac.uk
are on the list with csv.warwick.ac.uk email addresses.  Do you know this
bloke frujx at csv.warwick.ac.uk ?(A long shot - to know someone in a huge
institution by their email address, but you might do(!)).  Ahhh - looking at
the newsgroup posting, his name is Rob Learner.  This is getting pretty
dangerous for rob now - we know his name and where he lives!!!!

jon g.
jon.g at btinternet.com - http://www.btinternet.com/~jon.g/

ps - belle & sebastian won both the album of 1997 and the single of 1997 on
my website voting thingy, so they should be receiving a polystyrene award
statue thingy in about two months time....


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