Sinister: 10 Roddington Place

[PJMiller]

Oh dear, nerves are getting frayed and tempers are wearing flares! Time to
calm down, and what better way to calm down than with a smashing unofficial
Belle and Sebastian competition? But before that, just a quick answer to a
couple of points. First, lots of people on the list live about two days on
horseback from the nearest B&S fan, so I think they're entitled to express
their excitement about the new record on the list, even if it is a bit dull
for those of us who are terribly sophisticated and can keep our emotions in
check, like Kraftwerk. Secondly, any clique-ishness on the list is an
illusion. It's been said time and time again that anyone can join in, if
they want to, whether the subject is Free Design or Grand Prix motor racing
drivers' smoking habits. The picnics are open to everybody, just because
they are geographically inconvenient (to put it mildly) for some people,
myself included, doesn't mean anybody is unwelcome. Even educated fleas are
welcome. I have it on good authority that the Elephant Man has been invited
to the next London picnic, providing he promises to keep his bag on his head
and DOESN'T eat all the buns!

Now, the competition!

Some of you may have noticed that one or two people have accidentally let
slip that they have "heard" the new Belle and Sebastian "LP", provisionally
entitled "10 Roddington Place". This has sent some of us into paroxysms of
jealousy and rage, which was obviously not the intention of the people
concerned. I suspect that these loose talkers and squanderbugs are not the
only people who have heard the new LP, and some people are hiding their
P!O!P! light under a bushel. I'd like those people to spill the beans! So I
propose the great B&S Kudos Kompetition! Have you heard any songs from the
new album? If so, award yourself points in the following manner:

For each song you have heard in concert, award yourself ten points. Fifteen
if it was in Barcelona.

For each song you have recorded from a radio session, twenty points.

For each song you have on a mysteriously acquired tape of demos, thirty
points.

For each song you heard on Beat Patrol, no points. Unless you taped it, in
which case, five points.

If you have heard the new album on a CD-R, award yourself 100 points!

If you have heard the extra tracks that are not going to be on the album,
award yourself 25 points per track - double your score if you like them
better than the songs everybody else is going to be able to hear when the
album comes out.

Have you heard experimental mixes of the songs? 50 points each! Again,
double your score if they're better than the "real" ones.

Have you heard any songs that you just KNOW are about YOU!? 250 big ones!

Did you hear the album at Mick the Trumpet Player's house? You fortunate
fan! 500 points and a commemorative medal in a special box.

Perhaps you have only heard one song, but you heard it about 500 times, down
at the studio in fact, while it was being mixed for the eventual pleasure of
mere plebs. Unbelievable! ONE THOUSAND POINTS!

Scores are reduced by 20% each week as the official release date draws near.
For example, if you've heard the album on a Cd-R, you get a hundred points,
but if you haven't heard it yet, but you do hear it next week, you will only
get eighty points. So get sherlocking, big ears!

In the event of a tie-break, the winner will be the person who completes the
following sentence in the most apt and amusing way in no more than FOURTEEN
words:

Stuart Murdoch had to sell most of his record collection because.........

Employees of Jeepster Recordings are not allowed to play, unless they send
me an advance copy of the album.

Peter James Miller

"According to the postman,
It's like the bleeding Bank of England!
According to the postman,
It's like the bleeding Bank of England!"

My New House - The Fall

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