Sinister: Top ten reasons why Adrian speaks with a forked tongue

[Nick Dastoor]

Adrian barked:

>I for one think "Me & the Major" (sorry if it's wrong song-title..too
>much cyder does the memory banks no good at all) is totally
>uninspired...it's just there, and drags IYFS down.

This is rubbish and I shall explain why, in the popular top ten
format.  I considered doing it as a Socratic dialogue, but it just
seemed too much work for a brain trained on flabby boy's anal
obsessions.

1.  It involves a character who is not a schoolgirl.  Schoolgirls are
great but people will start talking if *every* song I listen to
involves them.

2. The "Because the snow is falling falling falling" coda is the most
heart-wrenchingly romantic since... something else really good

3. It's a clever reworking of the "Ballard of the Thin Man" for the
younger generation who grew up fast.  Possibly.

4. The friend of someone on the list friend thought it he was singing
about "Me and the Midget", which made the "don't see eye-to-eye on it"
line impossibly wonderful.

5. It storms in and kicks bugle ass after the gay boy foppery of
"Seeing Other People".

6. It is possibly the fastest tempo song that has the capacity to make
me openly weep.  Oh no, I'm confusing it with 2-Unlimited's "No Limit"
again, aren't I?

7. The line about rememerbering Roxy Music in '72 reminds me of an
ex-army neighbour of mine who had a collection of 70's rock albums in
his basement that I helped him sell at a car boot sale.

8. The way the song unites the Major, Stuart Murdoch and *us* in a
vague sense of having having been left behind somewhere along the
line.  Apologies for the new seriousness (TM) suddenly injected into
this reason.  Feel free to tell me I've totally missed the point or
should restrict myself to talking about the best newt drum solo ever.

That's only eight, but taking espadrille's complainta of number basism
on board, there's no reason to go on.  And I think eight suits majors.
 Either eight or five.  It always seems inappropriate that it's track
number three.


nick xxx






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