Sinister: Ned Flanders Leftorium

[Adrian Evans]

All this talk of left-handishness on the dark side of the force had me reminiscing earlier, and I thought I'd share a little story :

My mother who is left handed, is also Grotbags the witch from Rod and Emu's Pink Windmill.  This clearly proves MickMcMickMcMacs theory.

For years my brother and I doubted her witcheyness and decided to put it to the test.

Firstly we tied her up in a couple of those binliners she used to wear, and tried the old "Chuck her in the river - If she floats, 'ers a witch, If she drowns she's okay* routine.  Being only 5 and 7 years old we weren't actually allowed past the end of the driveway on our own and had to make do with leaving mother in the bath.

Dissatisfied with the inconclusive results of our first experiment, we assumed her guilt and decided to burn her at the stake.  We didn't have any stakes though and opted instead to tie her to a childs cricket stump and burn her feet with a packet of swan vestas.  Unfortunately for us the bloke in the newsagents wouldn't sell us any matches and mother was able to walk off with said stump still tied to her hands.

However it was only a short time later that we were provided with all the proof we needed....around six o'clock that evening we caught mother in the kitchen stirring a pot with a big wooden spoon chanting away with Chis DeBurgh on the Hi-fi.

PURE EVIL.

Help me Obi-wan Kenobe....you're my only hope.
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