Sinister: i went too far again...

[McGuire]

i'm really tired, but if i don't pound this out now i probably never will.
so i was driving to work tonight at around six o'clock, speeding through the
fairfax district as i usually do, when i came to a stoplight. i sat at the
light for a bit, then decided to put on sinister. so i pulled it out of my
cd case, and took out the other cd that was in my stereo. i looked up and
saw the light turn green, then looked down to get the cd in the player,
meanwhile accelerating without looking in front of me. needless to say, the
next sound to be heard was SLAM. damn. so i pulled over into the vons and
got out and we checked out the damage. the guy i hit was really nice, and
his car ( jaguar, ouch.) looked fine and all. my front bumper got majorly
cracked, but its still on their, so i'm not going to worry about it. so
anyway. the guy didn't even want my contact information and told me not to
worry about it. being that i totaled my car in january, i was glad my
insurance wasn't to be contacted. so anyway, the point is, belle and
sebastian *should* be sorry for all the trouble they've caused. i got a
messed up car to prove it.

my night wasn't ruined though. queen latifah was in the store signing
autographs and i got my picture taken with her and told her that i wished to
bear her children. she said she liked my t-shirt and that it was the best
compliment she got all day. the picture turned out blurry, but according to
ms. latifah, i should be knocked up and having her first born in only five
minutes and two years. not too shabby.

what else happened today... um, i got a spiffy polaroid camera. its really
excellent. i took some pictures of the winchels donuts and this church down
the street from my apartment. when i was taking a picture of the church some
old woman told me it was going to be a beautiful picture and that the church
was seventy-five years old. welp. that's about it for one day. worked
seventeen hours. took some pictures. crashed my car. hugged queen latifah.
oh yeah, and i got the new delgados cd. its super. anyway, that's enough for
one day.

-mr kelly ryan mcguire

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