Sinister: Jesus and the dream of Rockets

[Chris Leonard]

Hey Rocketeers,

B&S Fun
=======
Amanda the Swan came to Scotland for the weekend.  It was dead smart, we
went to Edinburgh and she was excited cos she's never seen Marks And
Spencers before.   So I said "why don't we go in and turn some tables
around".  And she said "ok".  So we went in but couldnae find any
tables.  There were some chairs but they had people on them.  So instead
Amanda turned a necklace around, and I turned around a hat and a bottle
of perfume.  Hehe.  Then we went to C&A and then I was getting quite
into all this and wanted to go to Boots to get a free book on VD but
she'd been in Boots before so we didn't.

Nonsense
========
Eeek!  The Turin Shroud is not a fake it is real, say some scientists
and my pal Craig.  Apparently they got some Jesus DNA from it, and
they're going to clone Jesus!  Bad move if you ask me.  Fundamental law
of Sci-fi, any cloned messiah will be evil.  We're all for it!  He'll
melt our faces like in Raiders of the Lost Ark.  Hold on, if they cloned
Jesus, that would be like a birth without a mother, sort of virgin birth
again.  Oh shite, I'm scared.  If Saddam doesn't get me with his anthrax
spunk laced Marlboro 100's, evil Jesus will choke me with his forked
fire tongue.  Ooops sorry Honey that's the outside world.  But Jesus is
within everyone of us.  Silver and Gold have I none.  But even if I did,
I wouldn't pay 200 pounds for a record unless it came with a free child.

Here, all you pretty young things don't read this next bit, it's rude.
It's certificate 18.   I went to a public toilet the other day.  I was
standing at the urinal taking care of the matter in hand, and two
urinals along there was an old jakey bloke taking care of his matter in
hand.  In fact he was masturbating at the urinal.  Well I never!   Why
do these things always happen to me?   Call the cops!

Why do I keep telling people this?
See what you bastards have done to Northy!

Good work,
The hard-core, plain oral-sex nerd. (~anag~)



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.             Listen, this is pish, I think I'll leave
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