Sinister: Kite? Lampost? Croquet Mallet? Inside of a wee dug's mouth? Noooooooo!

[Rory Mackie]

And we're back...

 Phew, what a horrible day at work. The only thing that kept me going
was the thought of decent latte, some soothing wibbly-type music and the
exclusive, yes exclusive! Ink polariods of real photgraphs that haven't
been developed yet, of the infamous London picnic! TA-DAAAH!
 
 This is one of the top pop star/super hero Mark from glamorous space 
dust rockers Mikado(?) bravely rescuing a lickle girls bright red  kite
from up a lampost. Just below Mark is Susannah who is attempting to
dislodge him from said lampost by smacking him up the arse with a dirty
great croquet mallet. Just look at the impish grin on her face!
 Quite a crowd a crowd has gathered to shout advice, look worried and/or
roll about laughing but they're mainly out of shot with just the tops of
their heads showing in the frame. Just after the picture is taken Mark
retrieves the kite and hands it back to the grateful lickle girl, at
which point Susannah drops her mallet and runs away like a big jessie
for fear of awful and swift recrimination.

 This is one of the unnofficial Londen Belle and Sebastian covers band
(weddings, bar mitzvahs, private parties) rocking out like good 'uns
outside the pub in Camden. It is the pub where all the cool people who
want to be in Blur go and you can see quite clearly the shocked
expression on their faces at being invaded by people who obviously don't
mind making complete tits out of themselves in public. The boy playing
acoustic guitar is wearing a very tight white top from which his nipples
are clearly visible, which makes all the girls blush endearingly and
makes all the boys wish that they'd thought of it. We are all singing
the Lah-lah-lah-lah-laaaaaaaaaaah! bit from 'Dog on Wheels' at the tops
of our voices. The picture is taken just before the horrific and ugly
silence that hits when we reach the second verse and realise that,
pathetically, NO-ONE KNOWS THE WORDS! We then all go round the corner
and quietly shoot ourselves for letting the cause down.

 This one is of the inside of a wee dug's mouth. It is an accident. The
wee dug has tried to eat my Boots disposable camera just as I was trying
to take a picture of two American girls playing croquet. It is quite
blurry, but teeth and saliva are visible. It is very disturbing.

 Stay lucky, Rory xxx
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.                 Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa
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