Sinister: cheer-up records and self fucking pity i supose.

[Sarah]

hi you lot

i think it would be good if we did cheer-up records. what records do you
listen to cheer yourelf up? something shit has just happened , i was
ignored in chat so i might as well write this, there's no point in
trying to get to sleep cos it just won't happen. i'm not in the mood for
chery optimistic songs that you love to bounce about and jump around to.
songs that quietly cheer you up,but without being obtrusive about it. i
dont think icould bear to listen to one of those "quietly uplifting"
things. so wat do i mean? do i want to hear a record that means
absolutely nothing? thats just THERE? fuck knows. well whats on my tape
at the moment is Stump - hiya you know who you are who taped it for me -
it will do i supose. i really feel all shaken. don't even know why.
wasn't even directly related to me but i STIL have to feel fucking
things that i don't want to and i SHOULDN'T have to feel either. i don't
want to be lying awake at night and i'm pissed off at the person who
made me feel this way and i'm upset for them. and all fucking messed
about inside. why did they do it? i am glad this is meaning nothing to
you lot - i'm not going to explain it - can't be arsed. has everything
just become really tiresome or have *i*? i keep on being upset by trivia
and unmoved by IMPORTANT events, i FAIL each time i try to achieve
something which means anything - and tomorrow i KNOW i will feel better
cos i'll have put to the back of my mind how shit i am, and i'll smile
at people, laugh with them, tell them funny things and make them laugh,
i'll be wanting to sob in the corner but then my friends would just
forget about it. so i laugh and join in. i'm not pretty enough to be
able to show what i feel. all this was fucking brought on by one mail
from someone i don't know. its really pissed me of and made me upset
probably thei aim in the 1st place. bu i know if i mentioned this, i'd
be told off for being insensitive. Ha. perhaps i am, perhaps they are
prententious self-obssessed fucks. yeah yeah i supose i've just done the
same thing, but i doubt anyone's going be react the way i did to my mail
to this.
i need cheer-up records, please donate some.
I'M GOING NOW BYE!!!!!!
Sarah 
                        
"why don't you just......"
                
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.                 Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa
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