Sinister: (Call me) SUPER BAD!

[Sarah]

Hello popkiddies!

how goest all your many different and varied lives? Hopefully more
interesting than mine and my 'squeeze' Garys. We are listening to JAMES
BROWN!!! I bought JAMES BROWN - THE GODFATHER OF SOUL, and Best of Sparks
for a tenner from Our Price! I tried to get Lee 'Scratch' Perry bloke, but
they had sold out....boo....

We have realised you know, that SINISTER LIST is taking over the world,
well, Sinister listees anyway. Look at the evidence. Whenever I catch the
bus at 5.10 from Friargate in Preston, I see a van with P. MILLER AND SON
PLUMBING. And then ON the bus, I pass the MILLER HOUSE....! Today, what did
we see in the Hairdresers? PAUL MITCHELL HAIR PRODUCTS??? And in Booths
afterwards, 'Waggle Dance - the only HONEY beer'??? And while looking for
something for tea, Tag-liatelle..... d'oh! Never mind trying to install
Outlook 98 the other day and something called DR WATSON kept popping up.....
there was nothing about Adrian Evans though, so obviously he will be first
up against the wall come the revolution. I have decided I want to be in on
this. Howe about having a whole range of products dedicated to me me
meeee??? Gary says he could have a range of MULLET WIGS, seeing as he has
relevant experience in that area..... he will call it MULLETS ARSE
US....sounds a corker to me...(hehe!)

Also - while being sad gits, we decided that we will help Belle and
Sebastian with their lyrics. I mean, Stuart, they're alright I SUPOSE, but
come on, they obviously need pepping up a wee bit in their 'situational
affairs'. We suggest therefore Stuart, you take heed of our song ideas for
you. These being :

1)A young girl facing the severe trauma of her local Woolworths no longer
selling Barbie Lollies

2)The devastating loss of a be-mulleted notascouser upon discovering he can
no longer eat jacket spuds in Preston on Wednesdays.

3)The terror of pushing through crowds in a shopping centre when Hunter from
Gladiators is peforming a special promotion in tight blue horrible kecks,
and there are tons of 5 year old girls screaming for his body...

4)The strike of fear when you discoverf a white, 8 foot bear, playing the
banjo, singing 'i'm your teddy bear', after going up an escalator at 12.00.

and finally :

5)Being daft and throwing away your return bus ticket in the bin just before
Burtons.

has everything doesn't it? Presecnce of well known shopping establishment,
everyday trauma (well apart from the bear), and a certain TWEENESS od the
parts of numbers 2), and 5). Gary says I'm twee. ME? I disagree strongly.#

HANDS UP WHO THINKS I'M TWEE?
(I will kil anyone who puts their hands up.)
I'M GOING NOW BYE!!!!!!
Fluffy Candarel

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