Sinister: Sinister : Crushed or not as the case may be

[Neil Dewhurst]

Aw shucks, I don't have a list crush, and I know that no-one sees me as
their crush because probably no-one knows what I look like.

In order to get round this I've decided to auction my crushness off.  I'm a
cheap kinda guy, so whoever comes up with the cheapest way to get my
affections will be instantly declared my little B&S crush.

Am I allowed to be my own crush?  If so, does that get me two votes?

As for famous-stars spotting, I don't think I've ever just gone up to anyone
to tell them how great they are, because generally I just remind myself how
incredibly dull the star could turn out to be.  In which case I don't want
to be the guy stuck at the bar with the boring person, so I turn round and
with the piety of one somewhere near the moral high-ground declare to my
friends that I didn't introduce myself because "he probably wouldn't have
anything interesting to say".

Having said that, I once stalked Russ Abbott through Covent Garden, which
was fun, and I once had to pretend to be my girlfriend's brother for a
confused, drunk, aged Eastenders actress who was very excited to see me
again.  Problem being that she clearly couldn't see me.

Can someone please send me something childishly amusing because I'm about to
cry with the frustration of my job and all that lies within.

Neil

"I must get out once in a while / things have started to die" - TY
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