Sinister: Mine's a large one, Landlord

[Mctaggart, Robert]

Dears,

Trous wrote:

>Someone once wrote a review of Neil Young, where they said they had
>always been a great fan until they heard that song - is it >Helpless"?
that's the chorus anyway - and the line "Big bird flying 
>across the sky..".  They immediately had a mental image of the large
>yellow resident of Sesame Street gliding across a beautiful sunset, >and
found it impossible to take poor old Neil seriously again.

It was Keith, wasn't it?  Keith has a thing about Big Bird.  As opposed to
big birds, I wouldn't like to comment on that.  Earlier this year, Keef,
Anne, Wumpkinny and myself were "power lunching" in a cafe in Glasgow and
Keith was heard to remark "doesn't this spoon look uncannily like Big Bird's
head?"  No-one expected him to say that, any more than we expected him to
say "and as any engineer knows, ratchets are the devil's work".  He's a
strange boy and I feel he needs our help in his hour of need.

>To add insult to injury I cant listen to The Stooges anymore, >either. I
put on "Raw Power" the other night, only to find myself >haunted by the
leering face of Jim Henson's most fearsome creation, >Robert "son of a manic
street preachers' fan", McTaggart. What can >you do?

You can hush your filthy mouth for a start, Mr So-called Trousers.  I wasn't
the one shagging to the Stooges, I was the one striking a blow for morality
and saying it was sick.  And it is.  Thank God it wasn't "I wanna be your
dog" Trousers chose to listen to, that's all I can say.

Michael said:

>Those that have been found to deteriorate have been traced back to
>pressing plants with dodgy operational practices.  Such as employing >too
many people with ginger hair.

And what is that supposed to mean, Sonny Jim?  You can never have too many
people with ginger hair.  For this wanton bigotry, I blame Chris Evans and I
blame Mick Hucknall but most of all, I blame Coronation Street's Liz
MacDonald.  She's a disgrace to the Sparkly Orange tribe the world over.
God, I hate her.  I hate her "But Jim!"s and "Shurt urp burth of you"s, but
most of all I hate her workout video.  Bianca, now she's a soap ginner that
rocks.  Why doesn't she do a workout video?  I'd buy one.

Gingerly yours,
Taggart xxx
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