Sinister: A San Francisco Bus Story

[Julie_Smith at xxx.com]

Hello children. I have a bus story for you.  Anyone who's lived in San 
Francisco for a period of time has experienced how horrible our mass transit 
(called MUNI) is.  After commuting to work for three years, I have many many 
stories, some funny and some frustrating.  But I'll just tell you an old 
favorite.

One night I was waiting for a bus which is supposed to come every 15 minutes, 
but typically takes twice as long.  On this particular night, I (and about ten 
other people) waited 45 minutes before the bus finally pulled up.  During our 
wait, we had formed what is called a "MUNI mob"-- a group of strangers that 
become bonded in collective anger at how poorly the bus system is run.  We 
shared bus horror stories and fantasies about blowing up MUNI's central office 
and were basically having a grand old time bashing the system. By the time we 
got on the tardy bus, we were all friends and amused ourselves by talking 
loudly about how things would have to change, how inconvenienced we all were 
etc.  About fifteen minutes into the journey there was a loud crackle and a 
shower of sparks and the bus grounded to a halt.  My MUNI mob friends and I 
stared at each other in disbelief, realizing that our trip was once again going 
to be delayed. But then, one of our number caught sight of another connecting 
bus pulling up across the street.  "Let's go!" he shouted.  We all ran off our 
bus and across the street towards the new bus which we now saw was so packed 
that people were scrunched together in the aisles.  As we got closer, we 
realized that the driver was singing into his microphone, in kind of a bluesy 
way.  He sang,

" Get on the bus...get on the bus....get on the bus." And then he'd interchange 
it with,  "You don't need money, you don't need money, you don't need money."

Once my MUNI mob and I had piled on to the bus which was probably illegally 
crowded at this point, the bus driver continued his performance.  As the bus 
lurched along and we tried to stay on our feet and out of other people's laps 
he sang,

"This is a San Francisco bus, this is a friendly bus, this is a musical bus, 
this is a BUS I tell you, this is a LOVE bus,"

at which point someone at the back yells, "If you pack anymore **&%&^& people 
in here it really WILL be a love bus."

The bus driver pauses and then sings, "There's no need to be dirty, there's no 
need to be dirty. . . it's a friendly bus . . . . ."

The End.

Julie


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