Sinister: The Good Sex Guide

[Warrander John - FML]

That Saint Lucy's a bit of a kiss and tell:

>He has to be better than John Warrender.  It isn't so much his
>technique, and I could  put up with the flatulence and even the
>cries of "Truck! Train! Tractor"  at the crucial moment, but
>well...I'm all for serenading, but a  post-coital rendition of
>"Sheriff Fatman" on the bagpipes was more indignity than this
>girl could bear.

Fancy that. I've had some rumpy-pumpy between the sheets
with that Lucy doll. I swear I can't remember a thing about it,
but she's so in-touch with my "bedroom etiquette" I guess it
must be true. Anyway, some of you older-fashioned guys out
there (I have a feeling we're harbouring a few sixties throwbacks
round these parts) may be wondering why I go to so much
trouble to show a lady a good time. Well, this may come as a
bit of a revelation, but get this, women enjoy sex!!! I was
shocked when I found this out. Even stunned. That "organism"
thing they talk about isn't mythical either. They come in pairs and
apparently they feel quite good. So all you hot shot young things
just better shape up or lose out. The 21st century is only 413
days away.

Now off and multiply ya heathens,
Love...John
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