Sinister: Public transport

[Martin Horsfield]

Anyone interested in one last bus story involving lighting farts?

Thought not, but I'll tell you anyway. A friend of mine (and this was
always going to 'a friend' wasn't it?) was the talk of the sixth form
one morning because after the school bus has deposited its passengers,
he was left on it - and seemingly driven off somewhere by the driver. 

When he eventually came in that afternoon, he told us that he'd been
taken to the bus company's head office to receive a bollocking for
appearing to start a small fire on the back seat.

In the face of an intensive grilling ("Why did you do it, boy? CONFESS!
CONFESS!") he eventually told the bus people that he'd been trying to
light a fart. He giggled, they giggled. Then they fell about laughing
and said "...oh if you'd only said so" and gave him a Ribble buses
calendar for his troubles! Just something to bear in mind, if you ever
find yourself on an arson charge.

Martin Horsfield, vulgarian
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