Sinister: Nutt'n' Hunny...

[Burt Reynolds]

Honey does write funny emails. Here's my favorite which I have saved and 
cherished.  Here it is for the rest of the class...

Cheers,

Rachael (spittin' and grinnin')


--------------------------------


As everyone knows, I actually write all the emails to this list
myself, and people like Timothy Pookins are actually figments of my
vivid honey sexual imagination. So just to help you all out, as some 
of you will be a bit tired after the gigs, I've done all the mails 
for early September early so you don't have to rush off and read 
them then.

September 6th: 

"I've just got a copy of The Boy With The Wonky Lap from an old man
with sick on his coat at Kings Cross, it's WONDERFUL, I cried all the
way home and then ate a whole packet of Maltesers in one sitting, and
then I saw a sparrow

-- squiffytoes XXX"

September 7th:

"Yaaaaay Ive got my copy, I'm in heaven, I love Stuart, I'm going to
write him a big thankyou note and send him a list of all our list songs
on the list that I've listed, he'll really like that, won't he? P.S I
especially like the glockenspiel on Seymour Stain

-- fancypants"

"I've been banging on the counter at HMV for 3 hours, telling them I've
got to have a copy of Wonky Lap and then I found I'd only brought 23p
with me it's not FAIR, fascists, why does everyone hate me, can someone
do me a tape please, as swaps I can offer a complete set of Kajagoogoo
bootlegs from the fabulous "Eat More Cheese" tour of 1983.

-- MrKJ"

"It's not a glockenspiel you idiot, we've all been listening to it for
6 months now, what's the big deal, it's a xylophone, I wish people
would check things out before they post

-- Timothy Tantric Tantrum"

"Well it sounds like a glockenspiel to me... sorry I just thought,
sorry sorry...

-- fancypants"

September 8th:

"Whoooo I've just bought TBWTWL on CD, vinyl and etch-a-sketch format,
it's GREATTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT, and I'm sure I saw Mick Cooke in Habitat
in Leicester, he had the false nose and everything P.S. I haven't read
the digests yet, I'm too excited, but my favourite track is the one
with the glockenspiel

-- CakeFace"

"Isn't delaying the release of the LP in the US a day so that the UK
can get ahead just typical of a massive conglomerate like Jeepster, oh
well I have the LP now, but I don't think it's as good as the demo tape
I've had all along, recorded in a cellar in Austria, I just don't think
this LP anything like as good, I'm sorry I know it's against the spirit
of this list but I have to say it, corporations suck, printed word
destroys, rage kill smash, oh shit my toast is burning

-- monsterX"

"God I'm leaving this list, it's complete nails, people just don't care
anymore, it's a xylophone, what happened to the Dunkirk spirit, we've
all been listening to Wonky Lap since 1982 when we met Chris at the
Ideal Home Exhibition and he gave us a tape, what's the big deal anyway

-- Timothy"

"Wonky is FAB I love the cover, where did they get that picture of
Leonard Rossiter from, I like tracks 8,6,2,1,5,6,8,3,8,7 and 8 best,
does anyone think the line about herring in Smutty Dream #2 is a bit
weak?

-- wishingwell XoX"

September 9th:

"How dare you slag off the LP, so-called fan wishing so-called well, I
think it's ALL great, I sent you a tape of Tigermilk and everything,
and you never gave me money back for the stamp, well I think the new LP
is fantastic it ROCKS in spite of what others are saying

-- BigPea"

"Well I agree with wishingwell, and can I say, ACTUALLY, that I don't
think, ACTUALLY, that the new LP is as good as everyone is saying, god
you're all so immature, I KNEW it wouldn't be, I KNEW you wouldn't
admit it, I KNEW it all but I didn't want to post and show off

-- acrossmybody"

"HI! I'VE JUST JOINED THE EMAILING LIST BECAUSE I BOUGHT THE BOY WITH
THE WONKY LAP. IT'S REALLY GREAT CAN ANYONE TELL ME IF BILL AND
SEBASTIAN HAVE DONE ANYTHING ELSE, WASN'T IT A CARTOON, WHEN ARE THEY
TOURING, WHO IS STUART, HOW DO I UNSUBSCRIBE

-- CLEMENCE"

September 10th:

"I'd look in the archives but I'm too pissed, so could someone tell me
what the instrument is on Seymour Stain, I'm sure it's a glockenspiel

-- CoOol"

"UNSUBSCRIBE CLEMENCE"

"It's a fucking xylophone, a x-y-l-o-p-h-o-n-e, I knew you'd all make a
fuss over this LP, it's not that great, I'd say a big disappointment
actually although I didn't want to say it before, I agree with
monsterX, I knew loads of new people would join this list and wreck it.

-- Timothy"

"UNSUBSCROBE SINISTER"

"UNSUBSCRIBE SINISTER"

"Piss off Wonky Lap is great, I like the song about herring best
-- ppp"

September 11th

"I hate this list, I'm leaving, you're all so ignorant
-- Timothy"

"I hate this list, I'm leaving, you're all so pompous
-- fancypants"

"LEAVE SINISTER CLEMENCE
QUIT
UNSUBSCRIBE ALL
^C"



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