Sinister: I'm NEVER lucid!

[Reid Dossinger]

Now, look...I've been more than patient with you people.  I've sat
around, twiddling my thumbs, whistling a happy tune, waiting for you
folks with copies of the Black Sessions to line up, hoping to be the
lucky, lucky person who gets to make me a copy.  Well, I've given you
long enough and I can only assume that it's low self-confidence that's
making you think, "Oh, he would want someone much more important than
*me* to make that tape for him."  It's not true.  I want YOU to make me
that tape.  That's right, YOU.  What do I have to offer in return?
Aside from an autographed 8x10 glossy, I might have a few things that
some of you might be interested in...does the phrase "Reid-length" mean
anything to anyone besides Carl?  Yow!

For those of you who think the above paragraph is obnoxious, here's an
alternate: I would appreciate it if anyone could tape the infamous Black
Sessions for me.  I could look through the old "true" vinyl and those
CD's that are destined to be dust and see if there's anything that'd
strike your fancy for a trade, and/or I could throw a list-crush vote
your way next time around.  It wouldn't be fake: you really would be my
list crush.  Have I sounded pathetic enough yet?  Please let me know if
I could be more pathetic.  I'm sorry if I'm not pathetic enough.  You're
really too kind for reading this...

I've decided to trust Jeepster with my pre-order of the new EP.  I guess
I just like the image of Katrina and David, clothes torn and hair
disheveled, with grateful tears just beginning to stream out of their
eyes and my ten bucks (converted) in their hands. "Thank you so much,
Reid!  You've made this the best holiday ever!"  Then I remember
reality:  the two of them sunning themselves on an Australian beach
while I pass the hours at my miserable job (that not coincidentally has
*nothing* to do with Belle and Sebastian) staring for the millionth time
at the "Lighthouses of North Carolina" poster that's supposed to
brighten up (ha!) my workspace.  And then I imagine myself buying the EP
from a bootlegger.  Just kidding...I really will be buying it from
Jeepster, and I'm proud of it.  "Directly from the source!" I always
say.  Actually, that was the first time I said it, but I plan on saying
it more often.  By the way, I asked Mr. Kitchen (I'm trying to show more
respect) how long he guessed it would take for said EP to get to the US,
and he said between a couple days and a couple weeks, which is good
enough for me.  Those of you who live in cities that have good
import-ordering places can now feel smug.

By the way, a quick hello to my friend Susan who joined the list.
Everybody: "HELLO, SUSAN!"  That makes three good friends of mine on the
list.  My plans for list domination are all coming together very
nicely.  The coup's planned for Tuesday.  Act surprised.

Speaking of plans, here's a plan for everyone to become more
understanding of each other: Digesters become regular listees and vice
versa.  That way, regulars can see how annoying it is when that HTML
code pops up at the end and when the original message is quoted in a
reply.  And digesters can see how annoying it is when insigficant,
one-sentence wisecracks clog up your mailbox.  See?  It's a foolproof
plan for peace and harmony.  It'll start with the list and spread to the
rest of the world.  Probably.

Yes, you're right: this *is* a long post.  Just my little revenge for
having to scroll like a madman through my digests for the last couple of
days.  Wait, that doesn't make any sense...Anyway, I was going to tell a
nice little story about my sweetie asking me to tell her a bedtime
story, which is really mean, because I'm a rotten story-teller, but
Stuart M. is a great story-teller, and so I just recited the lyrics to
Modern Rock Song and and I got all teary just *saying* "Now I count
three, four and we start to slow because a song has got to stop
somewhere," and then said sweetie said she really enjoyed my little
"story" (I gave Stuart credit) and so now everytime she asks for a
bedtime story, I'm just going to quote B&S songs, remembering to leave
out "Seeing Other People".  I *was* going to tell you that story, but
I'm not going to anymore, 'cause this is already too long.

One more thing: Everyone best stop the cracks on NPR, or else I'll  come
after you with that big metal glove of death that was on last Tuesday's
episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer.  Don't make me bring this subject
up again.  I'll just leave you wide-eyed, watching the door with the
covers pulled up to your nose.

Hey, how come this post is really long, is pretty off-topic, doesn't
contain a complaint about too-few list crush votes and doesn't even
quote any other posts?  Man, I'm the worst list-member ever!  Honey, can
you kick me off?  I'm gonna start a flame war with myself.  On the list.

Reid-length,
     Reid



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