Sinister: You stuttered like a kaleidoscope

[Corpora Arenacea]

	I used =laugh= at my roommate for spending 'til 3 a.m. in the computer 
center. Well, I was also laughing because he was short and funny-looking 
and acted -exactly- like the Rain Man. I was also laughing because his 
name was Donkers Hoddlesnoot. But but. 
	I ++laughed++ when he told me he was going down to Tennesee to visit a 
girl he had met, whom I saw on an exchanged videotape, sitting in her 
bunker-like fluorescently-lit dorm room.
	I felt a little bad when he came back from Tennesee smut-free.I mean, 
he was the Rain Man, after all. 
	Then I went and opened an e-mail account.
	Now here I am planning a trip to England and hoping just hoping that 
I'll get to meet people I've never seen. Now I don't know what I'll do 
if I don't.  More like I don't if I'll go if I don't.
	I have dreams that star people whom I ostensibly know but in dreams 
they are just faceless composites of traits that I've chosen for them. I 
have crushes on these people.
	I spend mornings in a library I despise so as to communicate with 
people who don't even know my name, nor do I want to give it to them.
	I wear sickeningly ugly glasses rather than contacts for most of the 
day because I no longer care what I look like. I ignore the sniggering 
of the real-live humyns around me who call me funny names for having my 
head in a computer all day. Oh well, they suck anyhow but that used to 
really bother me.
	I'd never craved anonymity until I realized I could be anyone at all.  
The beauty and tragedy of the internet is the mutability of its 
characters. They can be (and are), really, anything you want them to be.
	If you ever had self-confidence, however illusory, the internet will 
destroy it. The internet gives you illusory friends and destroys the 
time you spend with real ones. Someday soon people will write about the 
internet being the loneliest ghost town of broken dreams and dashed 
hopes, right before Yahoo stock slides right into the dumper.
	A lonely highway and a long stem rant indeed.



P.S. just because you laugh at short, funny-looking people doesn't mean 
you aren't short and funny-looking yourself. Oh, and I still love you 
all.

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