Sinister: I'm just a sweet transvestite from transexual Transylvania

[Stuart Gardiner]

On Thu, 26 Nov 1998, Mctaggart, Robert wrote:

> The band can piss off, we can play them ourselves.  Bagsie I'm Stuart
> David.

Only if I can be Isobel. No really, I can play the cello a bit and 
the recorder and everything. And I'm sure I saw some tiger ears in the
fancy dress shop yesterday. And I look great in a school skirt...

Actually, since you asked (or at least you were going to. No really, you
were) the reason I was in the fancy dress shop was because I was looking
for a costume (you don't say...) for tomorrow night. I'm off to see the
Rocky Horror Show which is in town this week, starring Jason Donovan as
Frankie. I've been having severe difficulties finding a costume - I was
going to go in the traditional fishnet stockings and suspenders, but I
couldn't find any stockings in my size... I still haven't bought it yet,
but I think I've decided to go as Rocky. So that means getting a fake tan,
dying my hair blond for the night and wearing a pair of gold underpants.
And nothing else. If I don't post for a few weeks it's because I've caught
pneumonia. Or because all the women in the audience found the sight of my
body so alluring that they won't let me go. But that's not very likely
really, let's face it.

I'll tell you one thing from trying things on in the fancy dress shop
though - Genevieve is no longer the only listee to have worn a French Maid
outfit.

Oh dear, that mental picture has just put 800 listees off their dinner.

You all think I'm weird and twisted now, don't you? Oh well, que sera
sera...

Today's been an interesting day all round really. I was meant to be
captaining a university korfball team tonight, so we all met up at 8.30 to
cycle out to the sports hall (as it was an away fixture). Only one person
didn't have a bike. So he decided to run, while the rest of us cycled.
Half way there, we waited for him. Then one person jogged on ahead,
leaving her bike for him to use when he caught up. Unfortunately this
bike had no pedals, only metal rods, so he couldn't ride it. So I managed
to get the pedal-less bike to move, despite it being far too small and
my knees being up around my ears, and left him my bike. Which he couldn't
ride, because it was too big for him. So we ended up with one person who
had jogged on ahead arriving by foot, then 2 people who had biked on
ahead, then me on the bike with no pedals, then one person riding his bike
and pushing mine along with him, and then the original runner still on
foot. Oh yeah, and the other 2 members of the team who had driven there
from the other side of town, but then had to leave 15 minutes before the
end of the game to get to another match elsewhere. Funnily enough, we 
lost...

Well before I incur the wrath of Honey for a long completely off-topic
post, can I just say that list crushes will be returning with avengeance,
in a new improved form, in the next couple of days. Watch this space...

Big Stu

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