Sinister: Robin Asquith

[Adrian Evans]

Dear all,

I just had a flash of inspiration for a French promo-vid for Dirty Dream
#69.
Obviously being French, the label would be expecting (and clearly the
band) some sort of filth for the masses to toss off to.

I think it would be much cleverer to give them something unmistakebly
British, and in keeping with the style of the song....A "Confessions"
video.

Keith Watson would be perfect for the Robin Asquith role, but I think
given the circumstances, we could have Johnboy Warrender as a
window-cleaner, trying to find the Dukes house, working his way up the
road.  Perhaps in one window, Mad Dog with some gorgeous lass, but
unable to remove his silver pants.  In window two Isobel playing the
cello in the buff, her naughty bits hidden by her instrument of doom.
In window three Ragbag McTag who wants to be Stuart D, derobing in front
of wee Karn only for the real Stuart D to return home from a hard day at
the office, and pursuing the blighter round the bedroom.  In window four
wee hairy Chris is having a game of pocket billiards while admiring his
stolen sidies in the mirror.  
In window five Linda is giving Honey the brush-off because Bobby
Chariots on the telly.
In window six there is noone there but the window cleaner turns round to
see David and Katrina playing nude swingball in the garden.

etc etc etc. 

mmmmmmmmmmmm...I was never any good at endings.

Just for laughs....

	A transcript of the new answering service installed at the
Mental 
	health institute.

	"Hello,  and welcome to the mental health hotline......

	*    If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.
	*    If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for
you. 
	*    If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6.
	*    If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want.
Stay on 
	the line so we can trace your call.
	*    If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be
transferred to 
	the mother ship.
	*    If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small
voice will 
	tell you which number to press.
	*    If you are a manic-depressive,
	it doesn't matter which number you press, no-one will answer. 
	*    If you are dyslexic, press 9696969696969.
	*    If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the hash
key 
	until a representative comes on the line.
	*    If you have amnesia press 8 and state your name, address, 
	phone number, date of  birth, social security number and your 
	mother's maiden  name.
	 *   If you have post-traumatic stress disorder, slowly and
carefully
	press 000.
	*    If you have bi-polar disorder, please leave a message after
the 
	beep or before the beep.  Or after the  beep.  Please wait for
the 
	beep.
	*    If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. 
	*    If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
	 *   If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
	*    If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
	*    If you have low self esteem.  Please hang up.  All our 
	operators are too busy to talk to you.

	Thankyou and goodnight.
	Adrian.x.
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