Sinister: London Made Honey Sick

[MWaggner at xxx.com]

Hi Sinisterines --

I've just gotten back from London -- lovely city I have to say, compared to
New York.   How do you keep it so clean?   I spent 7 days in posh Mayfair,
feeling a bit unworthy at times but holding my head high just the same,
remembering that we did win the revolution after all, so there, ha! you poser
in a Rolls Royce, get on the correct side of the road!  To everyone who I was
supposed to call (yes, Swan and Starry) I apologize profusely, but I left your
numbers here on the computer in my fear-of-flying frenzy the day I left.
Yeah, I suck, I admit it.

Finally got to meet the mysterious List Princess Honey and he is indeed as
lovely and regal as he seems, for all of you who have not yet had the
pleasure.  We had packed our tiaras but sadly the Queen did not invite us to
tea after all, so we were driven to take in the earthy pleasures of Soho (no,
I will NOT post the pictures of the exotic pole-dancing schoolgirls on the web
page, not even if you beg), the musical offerings of various cd emporia, the
fine art of sitting in the corner of a pub watching and listening to the
patrons ("oh, he must live on Hill Street, number 47,  in a wee town up north
called Summatshire, next to the stream, you can tell by his accent"), sampling
the fine cuisine (MEAT-FLAVORED CRISPS???), going to a show by the angel-
voiced Kate Rusby (go on -- what is it called? take the piss? go ahead, she
was gorgeous), and generally flouncing about -- despite our pain at the
Queen's bad manners.  Then -- after just 2 days -- a dread Mayfair virus
struck the List Mistress low, and he got VERY ill and took to bed with the
vapors on Saturday, unable to ring or get together with anyone. 

So, to everyone we were going to meet, sincere apologies -- but it was then
orange juice and Tony Blair and more Tony Blair on the television.  (Yep,
Keith --there DOES appear to be more than one of him. I swear he was cleaning
the bathroom at the flat at the exact same time he was on the television --
pretty damn Labourious if you ask me). Couldn't be helped and it was really
disappointing for both of us.

I was too shy to drag my American self out to meet you on my own and stuck to
the anonymous crowds at Marks & Spencers -- where I found no tables to turn --
Fortnum and Mason where there were tables but I thought I might offend someone
if I tried turning them, and Covent Garden where I met a gypsy flower seller
(ok, she said she was a gypsy and gave me a good luck stone -- I choose to
believe it), wandering and looking and shopping.  JUST when I learned how to
use the underground and figure out the money (why oh why are there no one
pound notes??) and read the instructions painted on the street telling me
which way to look so I could stop stepping off curbs in front of speeding
Mercedes Benzs and getting shouted at (yeah, British reserve my ass) -- it was
time to come back.  I think I'll use my gypsy stone for wishing to return,
because I really did love everything I saw, even if it was the "poncy south."
Well... ok, honestly there were too many statues -- is there one of every
citizen?  I think I overlooked the ones of listees as I noted none with
cardigans, walkmans nor arab straps, altho one or two could have used one.
And all those arches and gateways going no place in particular -- is there an
Exchequer of Let's-Put-Up-A-Useless-But-Heroic-Portal-Here or something?

So list, Honey List Kitten has returned to Edinburgh for a big rest and
recuperation, and won't be able to look after you for a bit.  Please be big
and brave and well-behaved, and mind each other's well-being.  Honey won't be
separating you if you get into tussles and try to hit each other with shovels
in the sandbox, nor giving you  the rules of the playground -- and will be
disengaged from the list for a bit.  If you've mailed for help or advice --
don't feel slighted by getting no reply -- please try to look it up in the
FAQ, or mail someone privately who looks like they'd know how to help.  There
has been another influx of new little sinisterines to the list -- any doctors
among you who know anything about M.E./CFIDS who can help poor wee Honey? --
so help them out if you can, bigger kids.  Honey just can't reply right now
and will be sticking to sorting out the cats and newts and getting well and
sparkly again.  If you'd like to send get well cards, flowers, pornography or
lingerie, please mail me and I'll give you the address -- yes, REAL mail as
opposed to e-mail -- it's nice to get surprises through the mail slot when
you're ill and a bit lonely.   

--michele/simone

PS -- Brian and Minka:  don't think I didn't see those photos just because I
was out of town!!  Shame on you!  And no, I didn't bring a camera to the UK :)
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