Sinister: Pat Butcher on Ice! Oh yeah!

[Funkyseb at xxx.com]

Fluffy Candarel wrote:
<< Hello shoes...I'm going to have to stand in you again...Dost thou remember
when mark radcliffe used to do that? *ooh* :) >>
No, fluffy, because he only said that in your diseased mind, when, in the
dark, silent night, the voices start speaking to you...

You're dead right though, nostalgia's a dangerous and powerful thing. It's
nostalgia that makes me think 'ooh, weren't those old green buses nicer than
these crappy new Arriva ones' , it makes me think 'In my day, Mars bars were
the size and shape of Richard Rowntree's cock'*, and it makes me think 'more
than 4 TV channels is just hedonism, and quite probably blasphemous.'
            Most worryingly, Nostalgia makes me think 'wasn't it great when
those scottish losers barely got a mention on the sinister list, and it was
all stream of conciousness bollocks and futile P!O!P! debates round here?'
              I dunno. Maybe it wasn't so great at the time....
No. I've just looked in the archives. It was. Sort it out, kids. All you quiet
ones at the back! Write about what makes you smile, what makes you cry, what
you think about when you're sitting through double maths, with nothing to look
forward to except double PE. You quiet ones have the most to tell us. I still
remember reading a post last year about a girl in the mountains, snowed in so
she couldn't get to school, and thinking wow! There's someone else like me,
going through the same things as me, humming the same happy bunny tunes, and
she's on another continent! I was so touched...
Please put something of your soul into your posts! Waffle a bit! Just think
about all the scum sucking journos treating the list as their own private
resource! D'you really want this to become a newsgroup, that they can just dip
into? Don't feel you have to get to the point!
              At this point I have to appologise though. It appears that I've
goosed the Queen Mother. Or rather, John Peel. I'm sorry everyone; Bernard
Lenoir is not a cunt. Sorry. I was just a bit annoyed, and I got carried away.
He's a very good DJ, and his show is fantastic. See? I'm the last person to
give advice on what to post. But I thought I'd have one last try before I go
the way of Brad and P!O!P!kins.
          Right, I'm off to the woods now. A cynic would say that I'm only
going there for a cigarette, but there's more to it than that. I'm going to
see my pond- an old wealden dew pond, fringed by whippy ashes; and knarled
oaks, that bend their boughs low over the dark green water. It's silent there,
but now and then, there'll be a clatter of branches, and a duck will explode
from the trees, high into the grey air, chased by a brace of drakes. It's
nicest at this time of year, when the green leaves are already dead on the
trees, and the air is turning crisp at the edges. I can stand there, breathing
ghosts into the air, and feel like a person.
bye bye
seb
*Seeing how much the lay-dees liked to nibble his honourable member, the star
of 'Shaft', 'Shaft in Africa', and 'Shaft about the House' founded a
confectioners in his home town of York. The company would manufacture bars in
his likeness to pleasure women in bathtubs in perpetuity. It bears his name to
this day. It's called Terry's.
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