Sinister: Moving in Circles, Why Don't We Dilate?

[PJMiller]

For the benefit of overseas listees, Paul Gambaccini is a disc jockey on BBC
Radio 1, or at least he was. His gimmick is the fact that he is American
and, quite frankly, a twat. That's the formalities dealt with, let the
rumour-mongering commence!

Paul Gambaccini had "an affair" of the "live-in" variety with a young man I
had the pleasure of going to school with, called Stevie. Now, Stevie boy was
gay I guess, nothing more and nothing less, Stevie boy was (not) a friend of
mine. Stevie was the kind of guy who would be regularly pummelled
mercilessly by bullies to the accompaniment of banshee screams of "leave him
alone!" from his devoted female companions, while everybody else stood
around enjoying the spectacle. I would like to say that I leapt in to rescue
Stevie from the bullies, but I didn't. To be honest, I thought he was a
puff, and a big charley to boot. I didn't like him much, although it pains
me to admit it now. However, he did gain a great deal of admiration from me
one day when one of his neighbours' mothers asked him what school uniform
consisted of for sixth formers and he replied "ankle warmers and pixie
boots".

Despite its name, Ashby-de-la-Zouch is not a good place for homosexuals,
especially not super-camp ones like Stevie. So one day, like so many other
misfits and outsiders, Stevie packed his bags and headed for the bright
lights of London, where there are all kinds of things that there aren't in
Ashby, such as Raymond's Revue Bar and the Poetry Cafe. It was in one such
den of iniquity that Stevie met Paul Gambaccini. They became lovers....

Stevie looked a bit like Limahl, even after Limahl wasn't very famous
anymore.

I leave you to draw your own conclusions. But please don't conclude that I
am anti-gay or anti-London or anti-American. You may, however, conclude that
I am still pursuing my "Strawberries and Chocolate" line of psychological
torture of Stephen Capri Pants. Older viewers may remember the sordid tale
of Malcolm "Duke" Allured from Showaddywaddy's son. Stevie was in the same
year as him, and they were both dead keen on New Romantics. And I'm not
making this up, just to take the piss out of Stevie Jackson, but I must
confess that the name Stevie has always made me think of Stevie, rather than
Mister Jackson.

Keith wrote:

I've been wondering of late what the update on the Duke's book is -
Mr.Fitchett - do we have the word on this? When's it coming out? I think
you should change the title to "Young and Foolish (but right)". I'm looking
forward to reading it.

Keith, du bist ein Dumkopf! I can tell you don't hang around in Waterstones
very often. Duke's book is mashing up the floor in all good bookshops. If
the thought of entering such a palace of wisdom makes you nervous, you can
find a scan of the cover, contents and ordering details on the Tangents
website. It's cheaper too My order's in the post. Or it will be when I get
round to posting it. There's no time like the present, is there? But I
should go to Waterstones anyway, there's usually loads of intellectual totty
about.

love from,

Peter Miller


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