Sinister: Photo Jenny-talia

[PJMiller]

Before getting down to the pressing matter of my missing
willy, may I thank Trousers for another gripping piece of
investigative journalism.

Apparently I have no willy, but I have a balsawood dildo. I
suppose you think that's funny, don't you McRagtag? Well, it
isn't. Because it's true. I was seperated from my Man's Best
Friend in a bizarre knob-chopping accident in the Canadian
Redwoods, just after enjoying a spot of that thing they do
where two blokes are on a floating log and they try to get
the other one to fall in. I like that, it's a good sport,
that is. To make matters worse, my friend Billy has a ten
foot willy and he showed to the nextdoor neighbour. She
thought it was a snake and hit it with a rake, and now it's
only five foot four. No but serously, I have got a willy,
albeit an unnaturally enormous great whopper. In fact, I'm
writing this with both hands tied behind my back. That's my
smut for the day.

Sarah, you can find JO DUNNE on page 74 of the "November"
edition of "Q" Magazine for Grown-ups. The other three are
YOUR MATES in Preston.

Tag said:

Talking of endurance shagging (which I wasn't, but you lot
were),
Serge Gainsbourg, when asked if the sounds of carnal
pleasure on "Je
t'aime...moi non plus" were genuine, replied "Of course not,
it's only
a single.  If it was real, it would be a long player".

Yesterday I saw a 3 CD box set of Serge recordings, which
was very nice, but it cost a bomb, about fifty quids of your
english money, and also "L'Histoire de Melodie Nelson" for
about eighteen of your english pounds quid. Seems a little
unreasonable to me.

Tonight I shall be helping to keep music live by going to
see Mark Someone from the Screaming Trees and Mike Someone
from Dinosaur Jr. I wish it was Murph, but it isn't. I've
never heard any Screaming Trees or Mark Someone, so I don't
know what to expect, so I've decided to expect
country-tinged grunged up melodic rockers that betray the
influence of Gram Parsons and The Lotus Eaters. In fact, I'm
thinking of putting money on it.

"What is the point," thought Alice, "of a petiton without
any signatures on it?" Wouldn't it be better for each person
to write a proper letter to the appropriate address? It's a
bit more troublesome, but I think it would be more
effective. Just a thought.

Peter
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Keywords: penis, marital aids, young people, Preston,
folk-inflected, French pop, Come back Honey, Turkish
football in Europe, ringpiece, ripped rectal lining,
clitoral ejaculation, gay rights.
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