Sinister: Woolies' chart position

[Stephen Garland]

Hello there,

I needed some little plastic things that only Woolies sells, so I popped
over there this lunchtime. (For non-UK people, and at the risk of
patronising you, Woolworths is a bright plastic shop found on every town's
high street, and is known affectionately as Woolies). The one I went to is
in the Elephant and Castle shopping centre in South London, which is about
as un-B&S as you can get. So it was a great surprise for me when I went
over to the record section - oh, hang on, they don't sell records there
any more - I mean the 'music' section, to look at the Woolworth's Top 75
to find TW*TTYBUS at number...ermmm...it wasn't there at all! All the
usual favourites - Manics, Dolly Parton, Hootie - were there, but no B&S.
Perhaps the album's title is a little too rude for the people who go to
Woolies. Ah, well.

Talking of Chickfactor, which I was with a mate the other day, I know
nothing of the magazine, but I know of it as a 'lad' phrase. It is best
explained by example. The aforementioned (male) mate lives with 4 girls,
so the 'chickfactor' of his house is 4. I live in a house of 2 boys and 2
girls, giving a chickfactor of 1. Maybe it should be called a ratio or
coefficient or something (I was never any good at maths, that's why I'm an
engineer), but that's how it works. Easy, eh? Now you can all go away and
work out the chickfactor of B&S. I would, but don't know who's in the
band, and can't be bothered trying to find out. Sorry guys (and girls,
however many of you there might be).

Toodle-pip,

Stevie G.






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