Sinister: stuart murdoch the insect hater

[Honey]

I have to report, hastily, on the Is A Cricket Not A Pear? video,
which as Katrina tastily told us UK people, was on Alternative Nation
on MTV on Tuesday night.  I'm surprised noone else mentioned it, but
I completely forgot I'd taped it too, and did a little shuffle with
the remote control last night.  And lo and behold! there it was,
right at the beginning of the program, in prime busty form, looking
all and impressive and handmade, no doubt with Stuart's trusty
cine camera he keeps in a sponge bag (no joke).  Here's a quick run
through:

It starts off, worryingly, with a quote from Jacques Cousteau, all
about hearts.  Sorry I meant Jean Cocteau, actually it's a nice thing
but I can't remember it here.  Then a creaky gate opens in a black n
white stylee, and we see Isobel singing to a little toy lion and
sitting amongst the grass.  The film the video the same day they did
the pictures for the TWATTYBUS cover, because pretty soon we see
Richard sitting in a deck chair in his straw hat, drinking wine and
being serenaded by Stevie on an acoustic.  Whenever the camera goes
to Richard it gets a Charlie Chaplainesque jitter as he munches
thoughtfully; at the same time Chris and Mick are fighting swords on
the battlements in kilts (down, boys and girls), and let me tell you,
sorry Mick, it looks like Chris was winning.  This is interspersed
with VERY cute shots of Sarah up a tree in barefeet playing violin a
la Dexys, and Stuart David fishing in a grumpy manner.  

Stuart M is then seen burning insects with a magnifying glass along a
little lane.  Stuart likes burning insects, he's done it all his life
and he likes to see them writhe in pain - it's where he gets the
lyrics for most of his songs from.  Did I ever mention that Stuart
David ever only eats cheese?  Through a straw?  Actually, Stuart is
following a little trail of David and Katrina's super little "Belle
and Sebastian" badges (the red and white ones), with his magnifying
glass, and we all look thoughtfully and then say "oh yes! John and
Oko and the stepladder!".  Incidentally, Yoko's "YES" came to the
Edinburgh Fruitmarket Gallery recently and they WOULDN'T LET YOU
CLIMB THE STEPLADDER!  I bet the devil with three horns at Woolies
had something to do with it.

Anyway, in the end, Isobel lobs a bottle into the water and Stuart
David fishes it out.  Stuart does the most fabulous,
stroke-my-chin-hmm-whats-this acting I've ever seen, akin to one of
Captain Mainwaring's performances when his glasses fall off.  The
gate closes and it says "The End".  Linda says it should have said
"Fin".

It's a wicked little video and loads of fun.  If you happened to
tape the whole of Alternative Nation (please don't have a go at me if
you're not in the UK or you haven't got cable, my legs hurt), you
won't find any more B&S, sadly, but don't rub it off!  Because later
on, aside from something bizarre from Sven Vath, who seems to have
stolen Peter Miller's hair, there's a completely fabulous video by
the completely fabulous Cornelius, which makes me think "you can
stuff your Air up your bum", but then I get some rather nasty
pictures in my mind.  Nuff to say, it's a great song, great video,
and in case you didn't spot it, he's smoking and singing backwards
all the way through.

the honey who was paul xxx

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