Sinister: Judy and her gang of homies

[Barney Lewis]

Hey, what price B&S as the new Wu-Tang Clan? If the recent discussion re
black artists is anything to go by, it looks like maybe we could bring
some influence to bear on the bands future direction. 
Picture the future.....after a year away, the new B&S album comes out. A
dramatic restyling sees a double album of blunted beatz and kung-fu
references, the latter a result of Stuart M's newfound obsession with
the Martial Arts. Entitled "The Ghetto I Am In", it draws heavily on the
experiences of band in their everday life confronting guns, violence,
drugs, and sitting around in cafes. Despite rapturous critical and
public acclaim, the band begins to fall apart in an orgy of bitter
infighting caused by the very same drugs, violence and overconsumption
of carrot-cake in cafes. 
Although more live appearances are promised, the band incur the wrath of
punters when no more than two or three members of the band show up at
each gig. As verbal sparring between members of the Glasgow musical
fraternity explodes into outright name-calling, police are called when
things get nasty and a member of the band plunges a metaphysical knife
through the heart of an Arab Strap by saying "Cheer up, you miserable
git" and "I've heard more uplifting music in a funeral parlour".
Things come to a head when band members start to leave, beginning with
Stuart David who departs for a DJ'ing career, laying down some "dope
shit" while "chilling with the g's". Meanwhile, the female contingent of
the band depart to become ace production duo Missies Martin and
Campbell, coming up with bustin' grooves for members of the
recently-split Backstreet Boys. As the band crumbles around him, Stuart
M. renames himself Ol' Dirty Bugger and duets with Celine Dion on a
cover of Kirk Douglas' "Kung-Fu Fighting" before proclaiming himself the
illegitimate son of Bert Kwok. He finally cracks when informed that
Stuart David has been arrested on suspicion of being responsible for a
recent spate of vicious Ink Drive-By shootings.....

It could happen, you know.....by the I do like Arab Strap actually, it's
just not the sort of music you want to wake up to. Also, to add to the
Brazillian debate, I'd highly recommend Sergio Mendes and his Brazil
'66, especially their version of Mas Que Nada (theme from the
Nike/Brazil in airport ad) and a series of awesome Beatles covers they
did at the time...also, thanks to all who replied to my first message
privately, it's nice to know you care...
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