Sinister: Anti bus love- tube truffles

[Magpie Jay]

Adventures on the buses of London?

No not buses son, I’m afraid it’s far more serious than that, tubes. 
And while it wasn’t a blooming romance or even romantically angled, 
it was surely noteworthy on the ‘courage to face facial zoners’ 
front, hence my paws rest in your boxes.

It was a work colleagues leaving do, so she naturally bought me a box 
of Milk tray (!). 

Later I sat with my tube buddy Bangtail Burns on the Bakerloo line, 
trundling home, cellophane veiled choccies on my lap.
Now wee burns has a penchant for foodstuffs, especially of the sweet 
variety, and, well, basically she wouldn’t leave me alone. “Oooooh 
Johnny, please can I have a choccie?” she whined. “No, I’m saving 
them for a (an unspecified) special occasion” I replied, to a miffed 
bangtail. She continued to pester and harang my lap for another three 
stops, as the traditionally zoning and “you’re not there, really 
you’re not, I cant see you” fellow commuters smiled from the corners 
of their mouths at her drooling desparation.

Not seeing why I should continue to suffer the humiliation in public, 
I tell Burns her choccie gobs fate rests on the opinion of a 
stranger. I turn to the spocky looking Mac clad chap to my right and 
illicited an opinion as to whether I should open the chocolate box. 
“I seeenk, you should geeeeve zeeee ladeeee vun” he said (being 
French and all), I shook on the deal with him, binding burns to just 
one choc, as I tear open the wrapping. Naturally I offer our spotty 
frog fiend a choc, and he greedily gobbles, still reluctant to admit 
defeat by Tracey, I stand up and walk down the carriage offering 
choccies to all the strange tube folk who spied on our debate. 

Bizarrely very few accepted, some looked at me like I was some kind 
of tube looper, others blankly refused and waved me away. Its not as 
if I even could have had a chance to poison the chocolates, they saw 
me unwrap them and devour some myself, so even when strangers offer 
kindness on public transport it is frowned upon. Thankfully, one 
couple accepted an orange truffle and hazelnut swirl each, and my 
trip wasn’t redundant, Tracey managed to gob a few handfuls too.

So there you have it, not quite tube love, but a slight conquering of 
commutercamelism. In terms of tube love, I never can return those 
alluring stares from strangers, I just shy away, and spend the rest 
of the journey admiring their reflections in the window to avoid eye 
contact.

On the crazy commuter front, i also heard a fantastic new word last 
weekend, it describes those annoying people (especially on Oxford 
Street) who get in your way on the path/sidewalk walking in random 
directions while staring into space, forcing you to gutter step some.

The word is 'Meanderthol' and it is my gift to you all.

Jay

http://members.tripod.com/john_kerswell/star.html


______________________________________________________
Get Your Private, Free Email at http://www.hotmail.com
+----------------------------------------------------------------------+
   +---+  Brought to you by the reborn Sinister mailing list  +---+
  To send to the list mail "sinister at majordomo.net". To unsubscribe
   send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to
  "majordomo at majordomo.net".  WWW: http://www.majordomo.net/sinister
 +-+  "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "tech-heads and students" +-+
 +-+  "the cardie wearing biscuit nibbling belle & sebastian list" +-+
 +-+     "nambling pambling rice pudding & crochet holiday camp    +-+
 +-+                   gangwanking whimsy-thon"                    +-+
+----------------------------------------------------------------------+