Sinister: My Own Private Hi-De-Hi

[Gary Parkinson]

Dear Chickpeas

Bowlie? Ha! I spit on your Hi-De-Hi antics! I wouldn't have gone even if i
could've. So I decided to have my own festival right here in Gazzoid
Mansions, romantically located in the steaming heart of Whalley Range, on
the mouldering crust of Manchester.

All my friends are here, some of them are even knitted and stuffed with
kapok. We have drunk cider from a really big bottle and now we're all really
pissed. Oops. My trousers just fell down. 

We have posters of all our favourite popstars lined up on the walls and we
are licking them with our tongues. Spike out of 911 has virtually no face
left, just some sodden paper and a blob of spittle. It's a good look for him.

I am dressed as Sue Pollard, and as I haven't been able to come up with a
remote wanking machine, I'm having to do it by hand. Most people don't seem
to mind.

My tape player is broke (I threw it out the window into the swimming pool
because I don't have a TV - I don't have a swimming pool either, I made that
bit up; but there were some small puddles on account of it raining all
weekend), so we've been singing for entertainment. 'D'Oh! A Deer' is very
popular, mainly because it's the only one I know all the words to. And 'Sexy
Boy' by Air.

Anyway, I'll have to go now, I'm having an excitement-induced heart attack.
If I can find my way back to my chalet/back bedroom. Aren't all you Bowlie
kids jealous now?

Gloves and mittens,

Gazzoid, camping it up on his own.

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 +-+  "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "tech-heads and students" +-+
 +-+  "the cardie wearing biscuit nibbling belle & sebastian list" +-+
 +-+     "nambling pambling rice pudding & crochet holiday camp    +-+
 +-+                   gangwanking whimsy-thon"                    +-+
+----------------------------------------------------------------------+