Sinister: Ignoramomus, and the end of The Verve

[Tim Hopkins]

I have a dream this morning.

My dream is that every time there is a Bowlie, another dreadful 
overblown alt.rock group realises the truth and splits up forever. It 
certainly worked with the (un)lamentable Verve. I wonder who's next?

Now then, back on the subject of Momus... (sorry it's been a while, 
but I've been, uh, otherwise engaged)

Pulpbot wrote:

>You friggin James Taylors, 

Now, that'll be rhyming slang for something, I assume, but I can't 
figure out what. Norman Mailers? Hay balers? Salty sailors?

>I found his sub-
>cabaret wurblings hard to fathom at first, and perhaps a good melody 
>isn't always atop his to-do list, but as I once told someone else on 
>this list, Momus' verbal jousts are a bit meatier than, say, Nick 
>Drake references.

Oh, I agree with you that Momus is certainly 'meatier' (is that a 
recommendation?) than old Drakey, but then again, that's only like 
saying you prefer solid turds to runny ones. I always thought Nick 
Drake was a mewling ninny, and I still do.

I must say that it is *enormously* important to me that the music I 
listen to is 'meaty'. What sort of meat is Momus like? Veal? Old 
mutton? Rancid pork?

Glad that you've learned to understand Momus, though, cos the more 
records of his other people buy, the less I have to flick past.

Momus's clever-clever 'verbal jousts' are masturbation every bit as 
damnable as the fret-wankery of a Steve Vai. Momus, as an artist,
could find no use for Keith and Chris's machine.
 
What I don't understand is that I've never heard anyone defend Momus 
on musical grounds: people (in my limited experience) tend to accept 
that his music's second-rate but insist that his lyrics are The 
Business. Which always makes me think 'buy a book and get on with 
listening to some decent music'. Perhaps I'm missing the point.

>I find it hard to imagine that Stuart Murdoch hasn't been influenced 
>by Momus. 

Oh. Sorry, I was wrong. If *Stuart*  likes Momus, then Momus must be 
fabulous. Forgive me for my folly... My guess is that most members of 
B&S have been influenced by music that I wouldn't want to touch with 
someone else's very long, spectacularly shitty bargepole. 

I've never seen a bargepole. Are they very, very long?

>Shades of the birth of Athena, yes?

I wouldn't know about that, but my mate's big sister used to have a 
picture of an airbrushed lady in shades. The picture was bought from 
Athena. The branch in Exeter High Street. The lady had rainbow 
eyeshadow and was sucking Coca Cola through a straw. Is that the sort 
of thing you mean?
 
Incidentally, I don't think that what I'm saying about Momus (or 
Lickle Nicky Drakey) is *true* in any sense outside the fact 
that I think it. I'm certainly not trying to suggest that there's 
anything wrong with liking or disliking anything at all. I know that 
some of the people reading this love some (maybe all) of the artistes 
I've mentioned, and I really hope that me expressing my dislike of 
them doesn't offend you. I'm not sure why it would, but I understand 
that it might. 

The trouble is, it's such fun to talk about it.

If I were being truthful and balanced, I'd tell you that I haven't 
heard a Momus record in several years, having been subjected to many 
in the years before I became rude enough to say 'take that shite 
off'. Maybe he's got better.

But it's probably more fun just to slag him off.

love and peace, maaaan,

Tim


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