Sinister: An Anti-Blair Witch post (please don't kill me)

[Lana622 at xxx.com]

Hi everybody,
   
 I, too, will buck convention and refuse to use headings in my letter (even 
though I think it's a really good idea; what can I say, I'm just contrary.)   

I saw the Blair Witch Project today, and have to tell you all that it was 
pretty much the biggest disappointment of my LIFE.  I was thinking from the 
reviews I read in the paper and even from this list that it was going to be 
life-changingly scary.  Nope...it was lame as hell, and not scary at all!  In 
fact, I found myself laughing at those stupid people in it.  I can't help 
thinking that it's a city thing...maybe it scares people who don't go in the 
woods too much.  Without giving too much away about the movie, I can't help 
thinking how dumb those kids were ("Just follow the stream" I kept wanting to 
shout, thinking how much I would sound like a cub scout leader)  Oh, and I 
could really tell that the dialogue was ad-libbed.  You wanna know how?  
Here's a sample of what they said (sorry if this offends you, people with 
delicate aural sensibilities)

"Heather, give me the fucking camera!" "Fuck no, Josh, that's fucking 
bullshit!"  "Fuck you Heather, just fucking give me the fucking camera!"  
"Where's the fucking map?"

  I don't mind swearing in movies, it's just when every other word is "fuck" 
that it starts to bother me.  I know they're in the woods, and they're really 
scared, but surely the appeal of swearing wears off after awhile.  

Heather, Josh, and boy #3 (whose name I can't remember), maybe you can 
substitute another word after you get tired of "fuck".  How about "frig"?  
Not only does it do the job just as well, but us listees can hear it and 
snicker in delight, as it's one of our many creative euphamisms for 
masturbation.

And if you want a scary movie, go watch The Exorcist.  Oh, and to Alisdair 
(did I get that right?) who wanted to know about his accent, yes, yes, and 
YES....a Scottish accent is a major way to get the girls.  My friends and I 
all love Scottish accents, so even if you look like Groundskeeper Willie from 
the Simpsons, we can close our eyes and pretend you're Ewan McGregor.

Okay, I probably bored you with my critique of Blair Witch, and I'm sorry if 
I shattered anyone's dreams about this supposedly momentous film.  As always, 
it's just my personal opinion though, and if you're scared by the woods or 
odd little stick dolls, by all means, go see the film.  But don't say I 
didn't warn you.

Love,
   Lana
 ("give me the fucking camera, Heather!")

P.S. My B+S Cd's skip too!  Especially during Fox in the Snow.  Hmm...  Oh, 
and by the way, for the 0% of interested people on this list, "moon river" 
was playing during my first kiss.
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