Sinister: Cyprus meetup

[Marcus Omond]

i'm back, and even more tedious and longwinded and dull than ever before...

wow, my inbox was rather full - a week's sinister is quite a bit.  but when 
you get stories as lovely as erica's bikini tale it's more than worth it... 
'oh lucky dog, to chew the top of erica', as shakespeare almost said ;)

so, here's a little bit about the first ever cyprus sinister meetup.  there 
were supposed to be three people attending - me, natasha and alex runchman 
recently of this parish, but he never came to the phone, he was always in 
the bath, and so nat and i had to manage on our own.  the b&s songs that 
seemed to turn up most frequently were dylan in the movies and rhoda.  there 
was no tigermilking, though - just the 'rock garden' in ayia napa, with rage 
against the machine, guns 'n roses and metallica (which i sung along to word 
for word) and offspring (where nat did the honours), and hundreds of REALLY 
shitty clubs and bars full of drunken english and scandinavian pricks.  THE 
FACE calls it 'the new ibiza' and put it at the top of the 'coolness 
barometer'.  fucking right - well done, people at THE FACE (YEAH, CAPITALISE 
- THEN MAYBE PEOPLE WILL THINK WE'RE HIP).  you obviously know a lot and 
you're not just sad little people trying to be trendy and cool and arty but 
just being wankers.  oh no.  and your target audience can afford chanel 
couture.  oh yes.  grr... silly magazine...

um, it was a really great holiday.  i haven't got much of a tan, and the 
only time i really went out in the far-too-hot sun to try to get one was on 
the last morning.  i'll let lovely natasha stop lurking and talk about the 
rest of the time if she wants - i'll just do the last day.

well, we woke up around eight thirty, and i made a huge coffee and chocolate 
and vanilla icecream smoothie, and drank it down rather quickly.  then i had 
a shower while nat made breakfast, and we went out into the sun for me to 
dry off.  shy was finding it hot, and so i should have cottoned on that 
MAYBE i should pay some attention to those nagging doubts and that slight 
burning feeling, but no.  i went inside again, and the airconditioning was 
on and it was cold, and my gut went all a-quivering.  so i rushed to the 
loo, and after having been careful not to fart or burp all week so as not to 
appall natasha i proceeded to make explosive noises from both ends of my 
body...

in the end, i was having severe difficulty moving, and i was having to rush 
to the loo every three minutes while i packed my bag.  i tried to throw up 
in the vain hope that it'd make me feel better, but no.  my attempt at 
'pulling the trigger' just succeeded in making me issue the loudest belch 
i've ever made.  i would have been proud if i hadn't felt so shit.

anyway, after about four litres of water i got to the airport, and the only 
loo there was through this REALLY greasy pizzeria, and so every time i 
needed to get rid of some of the water i had drunk i had to look at all this 
superdisgusting food... not good.  and then (as always with public loos, i 
find) there was always the leftover from someone else all over the seat/ 
floor/ walls.  lovely.

anyway, eventually i said goodbye to my fave listcrush (ok martin, i 
remember that beer - i'm off to vote for you... as soon as you send us all a 
poem...) and got into departures.  while queueing for the gate, they changed 
the time from 16:45 to 21:45.  this is bad at anytime - when ill and broke 
and wanting to die, it's even worse.  and 'the lads' from ayia napa were 
there, making horrible noise and brandishing their kebabs under my nose 
and... i only just made it to the loo to retch and blurgh...

then, eventually on the plane, i was in the middle of two young families.  
aren't babies lovely - especially when they scream non-stop for five 
hours... and they didn't have my vegi meal, and after emptying my gut so 
successfully earlier i was desperate for food, and so i ate the armpit 
flavoured ghoulash of random beast (donkey?  rat?  who knows...) and 
promptly threw it all up again.  well done me.

anyway, that was about it.  after that i listened to GYBE! very loud (that 
man doing the long speech about the government and guns is amazing... wow) 
started to feel a bit better (well enough for sinister chat when i got 
back), and now my tummy is fasting but fine.  i have to fly again today 
though... aberdeen-ish beckons.  are there any sinisteroonies in ballater?  
or nearby?  aren't b&s's management called 'banchory' or something?  any 
connection?  if so, mail me, and if i can get to a computer to check my mail 
i'd like to maybe meet up for a pint or two.  which reminds me - the night 
before my bathroom fireworks was the first night for as long as i can 
remember without alcohol... is there a connection?  but it was also the 
first night for ages where i ate unhealthy food... maybe that was it.

anyway, i'm sorry i missed tigermilking, and i thought maybe we should have 
a picnic at the start of september to celebrate austrian dogs.  and maybe 
erica could make a new bikini top out of cornish pasties or something ;)

oh, tim - i was in the video for the song with the lyrics 'blessed truly are 
the blind/ the meek and kind'.  and i looked like a girl, with my long 
locks.  and i couldn't act for shit.  little change there then... i think 
i've got the tape somewhere, so if i can find it i'll lend it to you.

anyway, off for another week :(

i've missed you all - keep my inbox pumping...

love

Marcus XXX


______________________________________________________
Get Your Private, Free Email at http://www.hotmail.com
+----------------------------------------------------------------------+
   +---+  Brought to you by the reborn Sinister mailing list  +---+
  To send to the list mail "sinister at majordomo.net". To unsubscribe
   send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to
  "majordomo at majordomo.net".  WWW: http://www.majordomo.net/sinister
 +-+  "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "tech-heads and students" +-+
 +-+  "the cardie wearing biscuit nibbling belle & sebastian list" +-+
 +-+                     "jelly-filled danishes"                   +-+
+----------------------------------------------------------------------+