Sinister: the state i've been in...a nursery diary...

[Juan Moya]

8/12/99

I closed the bookshop at eleven tonight, but I wasn't out of there until
about 11:30 or so. David pulled alongside of me in a borrowed car and
without argument I opened the door and got in. Ten minutes later we
found ourselves sitting at the bar in John Martin's looking into our
Guinness and wondering if all there was to our nights after work was
Guinness. I guess I shouldn't complain at least the bars here stay open
late.

We got into the car after two pints and from my jacket pocket I produced
a cassette of TBWTAS. "She had a stroke at the age of..." I was singing
along, watching the passing cars and the dimly lit shop windows along
Ponce de Leon Ave. when Dave says, "Uh, J.C. I don't know if I'm in the
mood for this..." I forced him to listen to the rest of the song, but
alas, he forced it out of the tape deck. Since Dave is usually keen on
B&S, I have to wonder if he's feeling all right tonight.

A few taco's later, another conversation about the girls that we never
come across and everything is fine again. I'll probably be awake all
night again, so I'll stay awake with sinister.

10/12/99

Late August. My last night in London. Salako at the Borderline.
Canceled.

A couple of nights before that, I went to see Marine Research,
(incidentally, on Martin Robinson's recommendation), and got there in
time to watch the band unplug their instruments.

Today, I finally found the domestic release of "Musicality." I can't
really afford it, but I bought it anyway. (after four months or so of
regretting the fact that I left for home without it, I just couldn't say
no)

Supposed to go out with some co-workers tonight. I think I'd rather stay
home and listen to the record. But alas, to flip them off so casually
would be to sully inter-bookseller relations. Fuck it. I'm staying home.

12/12
Last night at the Absinthe House Cinema, just a few blocks down from the
bookshop, they was a Smiths tribute show. Ten or so local S. Florida
bands showing off their capacity for sensitivity and morrisey
imitations. all around not a bad night. Most intense band was Ed Matus'
Struggle, most out of place band was The Goods. It had been a long day
and I started nodding off during the last two acts.  Drove home, alone.
Went to bed, alone. Even so, I couldn't fall asleep right off, so I
listened to "Dog on Wheels." Then, I had the most remarkable dreams...

Lately, they seem to pick up where reality stops. An event sometime in
the day that perhaps didn't conclude the way I would have liked it to,
turns into fantasy central at night. For example, on Friday afternoon, I
only eyed that jet glow rickenbacker at the guitar shop. On Friday late
at night, deep in sleep, I was plugging the guitar into my amp in my
apt. playing "lazy line painter jane," or something around those lines.
I could go into the sex dreams, but alas, I'm gonna be in the nursery
another week and don't want to offer too much. (although, i fear i may
already have.)

13/12/99

Lucy Alder's post today made my night. After a rocky Sunday and a long
ass day at work today, the sure fire rapid action motion of her "digits"
made my day.

Last night I helped my parents put up their x-mas tree and I did so to
TBWTAS. My dad seems to like B&S a lot better than Mark Eitzel. Since I
have a fondness for the both of them and can compromise when given a
choice between two greats, the entire family went with B&S. They didn't
even notice some of the lyrics, but I guess that in such a way any sort
of discussion about the music was avoided. To my dad, if it doesn't have
congas, it just ain't right. Hasta manana, amigos.

12/14/99
Shouldn't have driven home. Had a chance encounter with
my-older-ex-girlfriend. I'm wondering if anything matters other than
soul music.
Because, "La la la la la la la la la, means I love you."

Don't really feel like doing anything these days. College is a distant
memory and it's going to be harder to go back and finish than it was to
start it... duh....

12/17
taking a short break from cleaning my apartment. i'm feeling a little
uncertain about what's going on with the list right now. i wonder if
i'll ever get out of the nursery. that's a selfish thought, though.
these ten days or so have been loads of fun...
coming home late at night, reading the posts, feeling like i'm getting
to know everyone a bit. still, i feel like a voyeur. none of you know
i'm here. nice to have the nursery, but i feel left out.

i don't know what it's like in other parts of the world, but the holiday
season at the bookstore is murder. it basically kills every felling of
good tidings and cheer that one may have possessed in their youth. the
only thing that gets me by is to  sing to myself the first ten words of
"TBWTAS."  when things get really bad, i
just say "boo to the business world."

12/20
this is already a long post, so i won't add to it. let's just say that
i'm finally out of the nursery and for once in my life, i've got nothing
to say.

cheers,
j.c.

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