Sinister: Joseph and Edward

[Alexander Borgia]

>   I'm a rotten old moaner just now and I don't deserve Alexander's teddy.
>

Dear Miss Honey:

Once again I am  writing on behalf of the Sini-Bear Adoption Agency.  We
would like to say that we feel that nobody really deserves Joseph, however,
we are a non-profit organization and we rely upon the contributions of our
benefactor. Joseph has cost us dearly in legal fees, bail monies, and on our
credit cards, so we felt that the first person who offered to adopt him
would definitely be accepted, and Joseph would be dispatched immediately. If
you look closely to the fine print of the contract you sign, our solicitors
ensured that he could never be returned to us, except with a very sizeable
donation (I believe the sum was in the millions), so the little liability is
yours forever.

We would also like to inform you that it seems as though Edward, the other
bear pictured in the Belle and Sebastian Bong-A-Thon photo, has run away
from home today. We believe that he has followed in Joseph's path and will
most likely arrive around the same time. You should be able to tell them
apart as they are both clearly labelled. We are hoping that you will help
The Sini-Bear Adoption Agency in finding a good home somewhere in Scotland
for Edward, as the two bears are quite close friends, and Edward was
devastated by Joesph's leaving. It should be noted that Edward has a
fondness for wearing women's clothing, working all night and sleeping all
day,  much like most Canadian Lumberjacks, and he especially prefers soft
angora sweaters. I hope this helps you.

Sincerely,

The Sini-Bear Adoption Agency.

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