Sinister: in defense of myself

[**Megan Lehar**]

hi again

i don't normally consider myself the sort of person who's at all
controversial, so i was a little surprised when i received both positive
and negative responses about my last post.  i didn't mean for anyone to
take what i said as some dogma, or in fact a statement that b&s have sold
out or anything, in fact i specifically said that they *haven't* changed.
or that the fan base hasn't, other than the fact that it's larger now.  i
dind't say that i felt the list had changed, except that it's grown larger.
nor did i say that's bad.  but the truth is, humans generally are
reluctant to change.  i haven't left the list, i still love it.  but
there's a difference between the heady days of discovery.  i've known belle
and sebastian for over two years now, and the truth of the matter is that
they can't excite *me* as much as they did in my initial days of discovery,
if only because i nkow the songs now, they're expected. they aren't the
beautiful surprise they once were.  this is muddled i'm sure.  but it's the
nature of life.  when i hear a new ep, a new song, i get that same
beautiful thrill that i once did when i first fell in love with judy or
jane.  but... don't you understand?  things change for better or worse, and
it's not wrong to share.  and if i miss that, it doesn't mean that i'm
elitist.  at least, not by my definition of the word.  i'm not going to cry
and i don't think that i'm better than anyone else.  it's just that the joy
of discovery is gone.  does that muddle it more or explain it?

if you still don't understand, that's ok.  with 900 people, it's ridiculous
to think that everyone will.  but i never said that i wasn't ridiculous.
;)

xoxoxox
megan

mkl206 at is8.nyu.edu

visit the NEWLY UPDATEDmagnetic fields web page at:
http://www.dissemination.com/megan/magneticfields/


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