Sinister: Dinklestiltskinstock Festival

[PJMiller]

How much is a ticket without a poxy chalet? I'm stopping up all night,
mate, rogering the dodgems and jump-starting the donkeys. No, but
seriously, 85 knicker's a bit steep, innit? Especially seeing as all
the bands are the aural equivalent of an outside lavatory. So what
I've decided to do, to subsidise the event, is to hire an eight-seater
chalet and set up the Sinister Knocking Shop. It'll work like this:
I'll bring along 8 ladies of ill-repute dressed up as Lulu, France
Gall and other top representatives of the Yé-Yé movement, and install
them in my massive chalet. Obviously, there'll be more boys than girls
at the festival, so not everyone will be able to get a snog. Needless
to say, that kind of thing can ruin a weekend, which is where my Yé-Yé
troupe comes into its own. For a reasonable sum of money, all those
boys who've been unable to get a snog can come to my den of iniquity
and have a snog with the Yé-Yé bird of their choice. Demand is likely
to be pretty high, so I'll install close circuit TV, so that those
unable to get a snog even if they are willing to pay for it can watch
proceeedings from a smaller capacity bar nearby. Good idea? I think
so.

Speaking of that smaller capacity bar, I advise you all to make a
bee-line for it well before the Pastels come on, because it's liable
to be pretty busy then.

I just did a lap of honour around the house in honour of the drummer
from Showaddywaddy's son representing his country at high jump. It's
true, I have. That would be Caesar Romeo's son, right? Magic!

On Saturday I was lucky enough to see Massiel, the Yé-Yé girl "par
excellance" and winner of the 1968 Eurovision Song Contest, on the
television, discussing the upcoming (but now gone) Barcelona - Real
Madrid football match. She was surprisingly knowledgeable for a bird,
although she supports Real Madrid (boo!). She dresses in such a way
that people are liable to throw stones at her in the street, and never
shuts up. I liked her quite a lot, and look forward to her next
appearance. She didn't mention Belle and Sebastian, but I could tell
she was a big fan from the lunatic look in her eye. Uninterestingly,
she was talking to former Brighton and Hove Albion star Michael
Robinson. And another bloke.

Bornemouth's miles away from Hastings.

Snow Patrol are on Radio Ulster or something tonight, and Katrina
hasn't told us yet, so I am.

Goodbye,

Sister Disco

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