Sinister: My sadness

[Blake E. Hamilton]

If there's a certain quota of music that uplifts one, makes one happy, and
joyful, and elated, then there is an equal half that throws one into
despair, sadness and longing.  Right now, our friends B&S are throwing me
for a nasty spin.

Why?  It's that painful thing known as song association.  I just spent my
xmas break laughing, playing, and dreaming, and now, i'm at school, and I'm
depressed, and I miss my friends.  All last month we'd be driving around,
singing along to B&S, with the windows down, and the wind was everywhere.  I
can't imagine how bright the sun was those days, for it might have blinded
me instantly if I had glanced into the yellow core.

Now, as I lay in my room, and listen to Slow Graffitti, I become a prisoner
of my own sadness.  It's all I think about--how it used to be, and how I
wish it was again.  The fault doesn't lie with B&S, but rather, with me.  My
own legion of sadness comes from this association with B&S--happiness.  I
think that's why they make music in the first place.

Has anyone wanted to tell someone honestly how much they mean to you?  But
you didn't for the reason it might sound silly, or sad, or strange?
Sometimes I want to tell everyone that I miss them so much that it prevents
me from walking, and chewing.  Yet, I resist, for distance is often times
the most effective way of persuasion.

I've got more, but I'll save it.

Love to you all,
blake
~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-
I'm sorry like atari...

"We try harder and harder, tryin' to get our
way,  but it's a long, long wait until Judgement
Day.  So settle your affairs and take your
time, for everything in the world is yours
and mine.  Yours and mine."
--Pete Townshend, '68

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