Sinister: the Sinister Bible

[rebelstrange at xxx.Miller]

whoo-hoo, first off is to say, i didnt' know my last post would be so
interminably long.  i only had a couple of things to say.  it looks like i
was trying to write  crime and punishment.  jeez.

the dashing Weejay spouted off this bit of inspired insight:
can someone
please explain to me the attraction of boys... all that hair and
sweat and dangly bits. yuk.
.........my thoughts exactly.
**************************************************
Now it came to pass, that Stuart Murdoch looked down upon His creation, and
was greatly displeased.  the tribes of his sacred land were worshipping
false gods such as Noel Gallagher, and Boyzone, and no longer honoring the
Sabbath he had set for Felt records.  He searched far and wide among them,
and found the one honorable prophet  Honey.  He instructed Honey to build an
Sinister List of 150 cubits wide, and 400 cubits long, and to gather
Hipsters and Tweeslackers of every kind, two by two into the Sinister List,
for a great deluge of Britpop woulld cover the earth.  It lasted for 40 days
and nights.  After the 40 days, Stuart Murdoch did spake unto Honey, and
instruct him to send out a Dog on wheels.  when the Dog on wheels returned
not, Stuart Murdoch did instruct unto Honey, Send an honorable Dose of
Thrush, and seek dry land on which to settle and  procreate.  the Dose of
Thrush did return, and lead the Sinister List to Dundee, and the deluge did
wipe away all the shoegazers, and all the hooligans, and all the gallaghers
of the great land, and the Sinister List did builld a Poetry Cafe as to
Stuart murdochs' instructions.  And great Bus Routes did  traverse the land
and spread the seed of the List far and wide. And Honey spake unto his
children, Be Smutty and propagate, and so did they, and Honey saw that it
was good smut.   and Irish Troubadours did sing the praises of Keith, and of
Tag, and FluffySarah, and Stuart Murdoch looked down upon His Creation, and
WAS pleased.
  but it came to pass, that unrest grew among the Sinister List.
Philistines set up dens of theivery, and the Tigermilk Covenant did change
hands against Stuart Murdoch's decree.  Brad and Robbie did bring forth an
unholy alliance of Sodomites, and babes  were suckled that knew NOT of Nick
Drake, and the Field Mice.  the Philistine sects did honor false idols and
set up Temples to Isobel Campbell.  Stuart Murdoch was greatly displeased,
and spake unto Honey, "Can you not bring order unto this Sinister List? I am
greatly displeased"  and STuart Murdoch did rain down upon the Sinister LIst
with unholy  wrath, and bring a plague of bitterness upon their hearts, and
there was much wailing and gnashing of teeth.  and Keith did flee, and
Madame Cholet and David and Katrina did flee, and even HOney did flee the
Sinister LIst, and a darkness fell upon the land, and no longer did Felt
records flow  like manna from uncluttered minds.  and the Sinister LIst
wandered the earth for 40 days and  40 nights in blindness, praying for
guidance from above, but yea, even Stuart Murdoch had failed to hear their
cries.
 Until a weary traveler Did open his eyes, and witness a great man
approaching on a chariot of light.  He was ringed  with glorious robes, and
his legs WERE bare, and he came bearing Sha-la-la records and massive
amounts of knowledge.  The blind could see, and cried out, for it WAS the
Duke, his coming having been foretold.  the babes of the Sinister list did
wail in pity, and cry out, We thought The Duke had forsaken us.  But Yea,
did he return,a nd grant them blessings of many many P!O!O! records, and
Stuart Murdoch did smile upon the Duke's return, and smote the Philistines
and the false prophets with a wall of fire and banished them from teh
Sinister List.  and Keith did return, and he saw that it was good.  and Even
Honey did return, and he looked upon the Sinister List, and it WAS good.
and he bestowed a gold star upon his prodigal babes, and peace did reign
over the Sinister List, and Stuart Murdoch did bless His creation, and
continue to grant them heavenly songs from above.
*******************************************
with apologies, lesleyJo

http://www.members.tripod.com/rebelstrange
No bachelor has ever experienced such desolate loneliness as does the
spinster; for the bachelor is a man, and the older spinster but a male-like
woman.
--Dr. Joseph Tanenbaum, _The Riddle of Woman_, 1936


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