Sinister: why does my heart hurt so much?

[sandra morales]

So, I have finally been given the gift of speechand insteas of wanting to 
rant about B+S as this list encourages I want to complain to all of you 
about the way my heart has been ripped in half by the man that supposedly 
loves(loved)me.

So instead of telling you how much I love B+S and how Tigermilk is the best 
album ever I will instead try to explain the way I'm feeling.

Cruches seems to be the topic of the week and that is the only relevance 
that this letter has to this list.  I started off by having a massive cruch 
on this man but when we realised our mutual feelings we started going out 
with each other.  That was 8 months ago and for all that time I have loved, 
cherished and worchipped him because when i fall in love I fall very hard.

Anyway,  Lat night i saw this "god" coming out of a friends bedroom half 
dressed leaving a naked woman lying in bed.I cannot understand why he did 
this to me.  What have I done wrong to deserve having my tender heart 
broken.

He says that it meant nothing.  Since when did sex ever mean "nothing" it 
can be a mistake but it always means something.  I'm not abt to throw my 
life away because of him but today I woke up and just wished that I could 
cruel back into bed and never wake up.  I can't blame what he did on mtself 
but I also can't help wondering if it was my fault.  Is there anyone decent 
out ther?

Okay I've probably embarrassed just abt everyone on this list and this email 
will probably just be left in your in-boxes forgotton but if anyone has been 
through a similar experiance then please mail me privately or if anyone has 
cheated on the one they love the write and tell me why so that I can try to 
understand him.  It's sandramorales at hotmail.com Thanks to everyone for 
listening

Sandy .XXX.


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